


The Lame Shall Enter First

by HiddenTreasures



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s02e13 Doomsday, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Episode AU: s02e13 Doomsday, Romance, Telepathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-11
Updated: 2016-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 22:05:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4116484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTreasures/pseuds/HiddenTreasures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose could not be gone. He still needed her. He was a bloody Time Lord, after all. The laws of the universe obeyed him, the universe owed him, and this time, he would not sit idly by while everything he loved was taken from him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perfectlyrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlyrose/gifts).



> This is a birthday fic for the lovely Kelsey (perfectlyrose)!!

The Doctor stared blankly at the place where Rose disappeared, her panicked eyes and frantic cries forever burned into his memory. The pull from the Void finally ceased as the gaping white portal in the wall closed, and he fell limply to the floor. His body felt numb; Rose Tyler was gone.

His legs took him to the far side of the room, where she’d just blinked out of his existence forever. His brain was still trying to process through the last several minutes. One minute, everything was completely fine; she’d cheered him up, her presence relaxing him, as it always did, as they prepared to set his plan into action. The next minute, he looked over to see her lever going offline. And of course she would try and fix it, that was just who she was. He watched helplessly as she managed to fix her lever but was left vulnerably hanging from it, and prayed to every deity he could think of that she’d be able to hold on long enough.

But then she fell.

He pressed his hand to the wall, as though he could just slip right through and bring her home. But the wall was unyielding and cold. As he rested his forehead against it, he swore he heard her voice, an echo of her cries, but he knew it was just his memory, replaying her screams as she fell closer and closer to the Void, until she was thankfully, miraculously, caught by Pete Tyler.

On unsteady legs, he turned away from the wall and began his slow descent from the top of Torchwood Tower to the bottom, where his TARDIS awaited. The thought of being alone in his ship made him feel nauseated. He hadn’t been alone since the War, since he took the hand of an ordinary human girl in the basement of a little inconsequential shop in London and told her to run.

And run they did, all over time and space, laughing and learning and healing. Oh, how she’d healed him. She’d saved him so many times, in so many ways, and she probably didn’t realize it half the time. All those times when she’d sat in silence with him as he fiddled with the inner workings of the TARDIS, he was so grateful, and he’d never told her.

Now he never could.

He hoped she knew how deeply she’d insinuated herself into his life; how deeply she’d seared herself onto his hearts. She had to know. With every hug, every slide of his palm against hers, every smile, every glance… Oh, how he hoped to the gods that she knew.

The Doctor finally found the TARDIS, right where Torchwood had left it, and he let himself in.

The hauntingly sorrowful melody that greeted him was almost his undoing. He staggered to the controls, acting on autopilot as he numbly sent them into the Vortex. His body felt extremely heavy, like all his limbs were made of lead; yet he felt as though he wasn’t even occupying it at all, as though he would float away at any moment. It was the most disorienting sensation, and the last time he’d felt it was when he unexpectedly woke up in his TARDIS after the War, alone and with nothing but his thoughts echoing in his mind.

He scrubbed the heels of his hands over his face as he tried to comprehend his new situation, a situation in which Rose was not by his side.

All of a sudden, the wonders of time and space didn’t seem so wonderful. She’d opened his eyes anew and through her eyes, he was able to relearn the beauty of the universe. She had a way of seeing the lightness and goodness in everything, especially in him, and her positivity was infectious. She was exactly what he needed when he himself didn’t realize what he’d been lacking.

His vision blurred and his eyes stung as his legs finally gave out. He collapsed onto the jump seat, where one of her jackets was piled haphazardly in a lump where she’d thrown it the other day. He picked it up.

It was a black one with fur lining. He loved this jacket of hers; it reminded him of Christmas and Rose and new beginnings. He threaded it through his fingers, softly stroking it, as he remembered how, exactly, it had come to be strewn across the seat.

_It was the first anniversary of his latest body. It had been a year since Bad Wolf and the Daleks and the regeneration and her agreeing to keep traveling with him and the crippling relief that she still wanted him. It was one of the best years of his existence, along with those months she’d travelled with his previous incarnation._

_He wasn’t usually sentimental, but he so very rarely told Rose how grateful he was for her mere presence in his life, and her companionship. But he made an effort that day._

_They’d spent most of the day exploring an alien marketplace. Rose always enjoyed interacting with the people she met on their travels, and where better than an asteroid bazaar? It was the middle of the asteroid’s summer, yet it felt like a late autumn day in London, necessitating a jacket for Rose. He explained that the climate, though chilly, was rather steady and temperate due to the asteroid’s direct angle towards its sun. She smiled indulgently, as she always did when he sprouted off knowledge of local cultures and alien planets._

_He walked with her, hand-in-hand through the various stalls tables, explaining local customs and the various trinkets that amused her. He didn’t even protest when she bought a weather divinator for her mother._

_Throughout the day, they’d sampled the local cuisine and delicacies from the asteroid at the various food stalls in the market._

_As the sun crept closer to the horizon, the Doctor ushered Rose back towards the direction of the TARDIS, where he’d parked on the outskirts of the asteroid. The landscape was craggy and barren, with several flying manta-ray looking creatures dotting the pink and orange sky._

_They stood together, side by side, and watched the sun set. It was just them, standing together in a rare moment of calm and quiet, and the Doctor felt a rush of tranquility and contentment wash over him._

_But beneath that, there was still that lingering fear and doubt._ ‘A storm’s approaching,’ _he’d told her back at the Olympic Games. And that stirring of anxiety caused him to turn to her and ask her how long she planned to stay with him. She’d already been travelling with him for almost two years – he was already planning out that anniversary trip – but maybe she was growing restless, growing tired of the aimless wandering they did._

_“Forever.”_

_She said it with such conviction, there was no way he could doubt her. He smiled at her, and they continued to watch the sun’s slow descent over the horizon, and the appearance of stars and galaxies in the darkening skies overhead._

_Rose seemed to realize that today had meant something to the Doctor, but didn’t ask until they were back in the TARDIS._

_“Today was lovely,” she murmured, coming to stand next to him. “But what brought it about?”_

_The Doctor then told her the date, and she was surprised that she’d been with him, this him, for an entire year._

_“What, feel like longer?” he teased._

_“Feels like just yesterday you were exploding right in front of me,” she murmured, looking at him with a furrowed brow._

_The Doctor swallowed. The time had passed quickly for him too, and he was scared that his time with Rose was rapidly coming to an end. But he didn’t want it to; he wasn’t ready to be without her._

_Rose seemed to sense his distress, and she led him to the jump seat. They sat down together, his arm around her shoulders, and she was pressed into his side._

_“Forever,” she said. “I meant it. I’m not gonna leave you.”_

_Then she kissed him._

_They’d kissed before; the night after she’d lost her face to the Wire was the night he’d crossed that first boundary. He had come into her room that night, under the guise of making sure she slept peacefully, but Rose knew he was shaken by the incident. She’d invited him into her bed; he’d crawled onto her bed, atop the covers. Rose had just been about to drift to sleep when she felt him shift, and felt his fingers softly tracing her face._

_She’d opened her eyes and saw the Doctor’s face right next to hers. His breath puffed onto her cheek, and his eyes looked so worried and pained that she impulsively leaned over and kissed his cheeks. Once the initial shock had worn off, the Doctor rolled over and kissed Rose fully on the lips. They didn’t progress past kissing that night, though._

_The night they’d returned to the TARDIS after Krop Tor had been the first night they’d made love. It was a night filled with mutual reassurances, that the Beast had been wrong and that neither Rose nor the Doctor were leaving the other any time soon. It was a night filled with the Doctor convincing himself that he would never let Rose die in battle, he would never let Rose go into battle. He held her close that night as he worshiped every inch of her body, convincing himself that there was no way for the Beast to truly know the future; nobody ever knows the future._

_That night had been a step beyond any and all boundaries the Doctor had in place. Since then, he frequently found himself in Rose’s bedroom, stealing kisses, worshiping her body, and simply lying with her as she slept._

_Presently, the Doctor melted into her kiss and applied more pressure until her mouth fell open against his. His tongue probed her mouth, asking for permission which she readily gave. But the angle was awkward, and his neck was beginning to cramp._

_The Doctor placed his hands on her hips and urged her across his thighs so she was straddling him. Rose hummed into his mouth as she settled onto his lap._

_He kept his hands on her hips, urging her to rock against him. Heat and pleasure and happiness was coursing through the Doctor at an alarming rate, and he needed more. He wanted to touch her, he wanted to see her._

_He wrenched his mouth from hers, breaking away with a wet pop. Her chest was heaving as she caught her breath. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were red, swollen, and glistening. Her eyes were dark with desire as the Doctor moved his fingers to the zip of her jacket. The garment pooled onto the seat next to them as the Doctor continued his very thorough exploration of Rose’s body…_

That had been about week ago. They’d made love on the very jump seat he was seated on, with her riding atop him. She was so beautiful as she trembled around him, and that memory was forever burned into his memory.

The Doctor buried his face into her jacket; her scent still lingered faintly.

No. Rose could  _not_  be gone. He still needed her.

He was a bloody Time Lord. The laws of the universe obeyed him, the universe owed him, and this time, he would not sit idly by while everything he loved was taken from him.

With renewed purpose and a fire in his belly, the Doctor dropped Rose’s jacket back onto the jump seat and stalked to his console unit. He punched in a series of commands, setting up scans and search parameters.

The walls of the universe weren’t closed completely, not yet.It was like dropping a pebble into the water; there were still ripples. Both universes had just had their walls weakened exponentially, and it would take quite a bit of time for them to fully heal. He just needed to find a weak point, a chink in the armor, for him to slip through.

Or so he thought.

For days, he worked tirelessly. The underbelly of the TARDIS had been gutted, wired and rewired half a dozen times, in hopes that different circuitry routings would yield better results. He’d reprogrammed the library so that it opened up to the console room; he didn’t want to have to walk further than needed for reference material.

And reference material, he had: volumes, tomes, manuals, and guidebooks of all shapes and sizes littered the console room.

Rose would have chided him for the mess he was leaving in his wake.

But as the weeks passed without any results, the Doctor grew more and more frustrated and panicked, because as the time passed, the fabric between realities was strengthening and healing. He was scanning everywhere on and off Earth; he just needed to slip through, then he could hop over to parallel Earth easily enough and find Rose.

_He just needed a bloody opening!_

The TARDIS didn’t even need to fit through. As the universe began to heal itself, and the walls began to become sturdier again, the Doctor narrowed his searches to find an opening big enough for just himself to slip though.

But his searching was coming up heartbreakingly empty.

It took weeks of constant scanning until even the slightest blip came across his radar.

The Doctor was slumped over on the jump seat, Rose’s jacket acting as a pillow as he dozed for the first time since Rose had been lost. He was jolted awake by the beeping noises emanating from the little screen on the console.

Jumping to his feet, he wrenched the screen towards him, and read out the results, a delighted grin plastered to his face. The old girl had done it! She’d found a weak spot between this universe and Rose’s! Now, he just needed enough power to send himself through. The TARDIS couldn’t do it all on her own, but if he could just program her to hold open the gap while he slipped though, it just might work!

The Doctor sent himself into orbit around a star that was nearing the end of its life cycle, and sped up its decay, sending it into supernova. That should provide enough power to the TARDIS to hold open the gap.

On the screen, he saw the vibrant blues and pinks and yellows as the sun burned, powering the TARDIS to send him on the dimensional jump he was about to make. His initial thought was that Rose would’ve loved to see this.

As the star continued to burn, the Doctor probed at the gap in the universe, but his heart plummeted as he examined it further. The tear was rapidly shrinking in size, knitting itself back together, faster than he’d anticipated; he’d never make it. He couldn’t even make a one-way trip.

“No, no, no!” he yelled, frantically pressing buttons and pulling levers, trying to stabilize the gap, hoping that he could slip through before the gap closed forever.

The TARDIS resonated angrily in his mind. She was furious that he had been tempted to simply leave her behind like that.

It was a rash decision, he knew, but Rose was on that side. If he was stuck there, at least it’d be with her. And who knows, perhaps one day (one century?) there would be another multi-dimensional catastrophe and he’d be able to slip back to the TARDIS.

But the TARDIS resolutely remained in orbit around the supernova he’d created, no matter how much he cursed, pleaded, and begged. He fiddled with the TARDIS’s circuitry, hoping to trick her into flying through, or into sending him through, but sparks flew out of the console and the interior he’d been rewiring, singeing his hands, and the ship flashed her lights angrily.

The Doctor powerlessly watched the scanner as the gap closed resolutely, too small for him to jump through. His final hope of reaching Rose was gone.The Doctor slumped against the console unit as he faced the truth: Rose was forever lost to him.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, the Doctor tried sending a telepathic link through the Void. If he couldn’t bring Rose home, the least he could do was say goodbye, tell her how hard he’d tried to get her back, tell her how much he missed her and how much she meant to him.

He closed his eyes and, with the TARDIS’s help, sent a mental projection through the Void, calling out to Rose. But he hit a wall. His eyes popped open in frantic desperation.

No, no, no!

The walls couldn’t be completely closed yet. There should still be some elasticity to them. He closed his eyes and tried again, slamming his telepathic presence against the impenetrable wall he found. Again and again and again he tried, until the TARDIS pulled him out and stopped his mental assault. It was exhausting for him to send a message through the Void, but it had been his last chance to see her again, to talk to her again.

And it hadn’t worked.

He looked around helplessly, hoping for another option. Hoping that the TARDIS would somehow, miraculously, fly herself through the non-existent gap he’d just watched seal up, and land herself in Pete’s World. Hoping that he was just dreaming and that Rose would wake him up with her soft voice and gentle smile. Hoping that Rose would miraculously appear inside the TARDIS. Hoping, hoping, hoping…

 But they remained in orbit around the now pointless supernova.

The Doctor switched off the scanner, not wanting to see that the universe was safe, secure, and intact again. The results should make him pleased; he’d saved the universe again. The Daleks were sent back to hell where they belonged. Everyone was safe, Rose was safe. That was what he’d wanted, after all, when he’d sent her to that parallel world in the first place. Safe and sound and with her family.

But he was left feeling hollow and empty as he looked around his empty TARDIS.

Rose’s jacket was still balled up on the jump seat; multiple books and tomes were strewn around the console room, useless references he’d used as he tried to breach the void; rogue bits and bobs and wires were lying around.

And he hated it. He hated this bloody console room and everything about this bloody TARDIS and everything about his miserable bloody existence. He was always helping people and saving their arses, and still he always lost everything he ever cared about. He was just so tired.

The Doctor slammed his hands down against the console unit as hot, angry bitterness welled up in his gut. The TARDIS hummed soothingly at him, but he was angry with her too. Why wouldn’t she help him? Why would she have given him hope only to rip it away again?

He grabbed the nearest thing – a mallet – and threw it as hard as he could against the wall. The loud  _thunk_  it made was surprisingly satisfying, despite the twinge of irritation the TARDIS sent him.

The Doctor raked his fingers angrily through his hair and began pacing, his body simmering with frustration and despair. He kicked at all of the debris on the floor, sending it flying around the room.

He knew he was being childish, but he’d gotten his hopes up. He’d really thought he’d be able to slip through and bring her home.

The Doctor took a deep breath through his nose, and shoved his hands into his pockets on the exhale.

His fingers brushed against something cool and metallic. He pulled it out, and stared at one of the round dimension hoppers from Pete’s World. As if the universe wasn’t done mocking him.

His barely-contained rage flared up again, and his fists shook as he flung it away from him. It cracked satisfyingly against the wall, settling to the floor in a dozen pieces.

The TARDIS sent a wave of calm in his direction, which angered him further. He didn’t want to be bloody calm, he wanted Rose back!

She sent him the equivalent of an eye roll before giving him a mental nudge to keep looking.

“Don’t you understand?” he yelled at the ceiling. “She’s lost! Stuck over there, while we’re over here. Done. Finite. Nothing to be done! I’ve failed!”

The TARDIS hummed exasperatedly and showed him the color yellow.

“Yellow, what the bloody hell does that mean?” he asked her scathingly, agitatedly pacing the length of the console room, fingers raking through his hair, when something yellow caught his eye.

The Doctor turned his head to look at the broken dimension jumper lying in pieces on the grating. He walked over and sat down next to the pile of metal and wires, placing his glasses on his nose. He gingerly picked up the pieces, poking around the wires and inspecting the device.

He had to admit, this was a rather ingenious device. Its basic design was to travel from one set of coordinates on one universe to the exact duplicate set of coordinates on the other universe. So beautifully, brilliantly simple.

Of course, now that the Void was closed to all travelers, this device was completely useless.

Frustrated, the Doctor dropped it back to the floor – another spring popped loose – and took his glasses off, massaging his tired eyes. He had to hand it to humans; when they weren’t busy blundering about, causing chaos, they were really rather clever.The device was, essentially, a teleport.

A teleport…

_Oh, the Doctor’s very good at teleports…_

The Doctor sprung to his feet, cradling the broken pieces of the dimension hopper to his chest as the TARDIS hummed excitedly in his mind.

A fledgling plan was just beginning to form, and he squashed down the thread of hope before it could begin to grow. He couldn’t take another round of disappointment.

The Doctor wrenched open the floor grating and dropped into the underbelly of the TARDIS, rummaging around for the toolkit he knew he’d left there. With a shout of excitement and discovery, he tossed it up and plopped himself on the floor, the jumper in his lap. He began dismantling the jumper, dissecting it, rewiring it, and reprograming it, as he pulled up the CCTV footage from Torchwood Tower.

That seed of hope was beginning to blossom against his will as he saw his window of opportunity. It would be a long shot, but it was, indeed, a shot, which was more than he had right now. Together with his magnificent brain, his magnificent ship, and the help of Pete Tyler, this just might work.

He was going to bring back Rose Tyler.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of jiggery-pokery, a bit of time travel, and clever use of teleportation

Pete Tyler watched the Doctor sprint from the room with a sheet of A4 and his Torchwood agents, saying something about the Daleks and Cybermen and Rose Tyler and polycarbide. To be honest, his head was spinning. He never thought he’d be seeing Rose again, and certainly not her mother, parallel or otherwise.

He’d resigned himself to the fact that his wife was dead – worse than dead – and he would be alone for the rest of his life. He’d accepted that fact. He and Jackie had grown distant over the course of their marriage; they hadn’t even been living together for the last few months she’d been alive. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to see her again, to see what this universe had created as a Jacqueline Tyler.

“Pete!”

He jumped in surprise at the voice he thought had gone to the basement.

The Doctor was striding towards him quickly, purposefully. But there was something different about him. He was wild and unkempt; his hair was sticking up in every direction, disheveled and untamed; his usually-crisp suit was rumpled, and he most definitely was not wearing that shirt-tie combination a minute ago. There was a light stubble darkening his jaw when just a moment ago he’d been clean-shaven. His face looked exhausted; his eyes were more haunted than any person’s ought to be, and more fierce, with a manic glean shining within. He looked every bit the alien he claimed to be

In truth, Pete was slightly frightened by this man.

Pete eyed him warily as the Doctor stopped a few paces away.

“As you’ve no doubt noticed, I’m not the Doctor that just left you,” the Doctor began without preamble. “But just shut up a minute and listen, because we haven’t got much time. I need your help.”

“Isn’t that what I’m already doing?” Pete asked blankly.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and said, “Yes, but there’s more. I’m from the future, and my Rose is gone. She’s trapped in your parallel world. At least, that’s where I think she is. That’s where she’ll be unless you help me.”

“You’re not making any sense.”

The Doctor groaned in exasperation and raked his fingers though his hair in frustration.

“Later today, this world is going to be overrun with Cybermen and Daleks,” the Doctor said. Pete began to protest, but the Doctor spoke over him. “But I’ll fix it. Rose and I, we fix it. But she gets stuck in your world, and I can’t lose her, Pete, I can’t. Please, help me.”

Pete’s eyes hardened as he said, “Why should I? From the sound of it, I should jump back to my world and wait it out, safe and sound.”

The Doctors frustration mounted, and he grabbed the other man’s shoulders roughly, his fingertips digging in sharply, wanting to shake some sense into him. Pete looked startled and tried to back away. The Doctor took a deep breath before slowly releasing his vice grip on the other man’s arms.

The Doctor inhaled sharply through his nose and scrubbed his hands across his face before launching into the entire tale, start to finish, not caring that he was giving away future knowledge. If it would get Pete to help him, he frankly didn’t give a damn.

The Doctor was breathing heavily by the time he finished, and he was getting impatient. They were on a schedule. Past-him would be expecting Pete in the basement any minute.

“So you’re saying that, at the end of it all, Jackie and Rose are in my world, to live with me?” Pete confirmed.

The Doctor nodded.

“And what’s the problem with that?”

The Doctor’s mouth opened and closed several times before clicking shut. Nothing was wrong with that; that was the problem. The Doctor should be perfectly fine with letting the day progress as intended. He should be able to walk back into his TARDIS and fly her away, into the universe, and let Rose and her family live out the rest of their lives in peace.

But he couldn’t do that. He was far too selfish for that.

The Doctor looked at Pete with haunted eyes, and Pete recognized the look of grief and sorrow and desperation. It was the look of a man who’d lost everything dear to him, and would do anything to get it back. It was a look Pete was intimately familiar with.

Pity stirred in Pete’s belly, and he said, “Right. So, what’s this plan of yours, then?”

The Doctor’s eyes brightened slightly as hope began to burn behind his dead eyes. The Doctor pulled his newly-fashioned teleport from his pocket.

“I converted one of your dimension jumpers into a simple teleport,” he said, handing it to the man. “It goes between the top floor of Torchwood Tower and the floor right beneath it. Keep this in your pocket.”

Pete looked at it blankly as the Doctor continued speaking.

“Now, this is very important,” he said. “Very, _very_ important. Later today, you, Jackie, Mickey, and Rose will jump to the other universe, seemingly to stay. But Rose will jump back to me. _As soon as she does_ , I need you to run to the next floor down, and re-jump to this universe. Convince Jackie any way you can to get to that secondary level, because you _cannot_ reappear in the lever room. Got it?”

Pete nodded, even though he didn’t. He suspected (hoped) it would when the time came.

“Right, once you’re back in this universe, you’ll only have a few minutes before I need you to use your teleport to jump up and catch Rose before she falls into the Void,” the Doctor said. “Easy-peasy.”

“And where will you be during this whole scenario?” Pete demanded, his brain feeling overloaded with information. This was overwhelming, and seemed far too complicated for someone like him. What if he mucked it all up? “Why can’t you catch her?”

The Doctor’s shoulders drooped as he murmured, “Because I already saw you do it.”

Pete crossed his arms, and he mulled over the information given.

“But, I’ll be in the room with you and Jackie,” the Doctor assured, resting his hand gently on Pete’s shoulder. “The room right below the lever room. I’ve already checked the CCTV. It’s an empty room, and the camera feed suddenly cut out part way through the battle. So I’ll be there to guide you through everything. The most important thing to remember is to wait until Rose jumps back over to me, and to get to the next floor down before you and Jackie – Mickey too, if he wants – jump to me. I’ll be waiting for you, and will talk you through the rest.”

Pete nodded, running his fingers over the teleporter he had just been handed. It looked exactly like the one around his neck.

“So if I do this,” Pete said, “I’ll be stuck here in this world?”

The Doctor tensed, hoping that Pete wouldn’t have caught onto that detail, hoping that it wouldn’t deter him from helping him. The Doctor sighed and nodded.

“But you’ll still have Jackie,” the Doctor said cajolingly.

“She’s not my wife,” he said stubbornly.

The Doctor rolled his eyes and began making his way to the exit. They needed to get a move on.

“And how do you know this’ll work?”

The Doctor stopped and turned around, fumbling for an answer. Truth was, he had no idea if it would; he was just hoping against all hope that it would.

“I mean, if Rose is meant to be my world, but now we’re all stuck here, doesn’t that muck things up?”

Oh, Pete Tyler was clever. The Doctor couldn’t help the phantom smile as he said, “Nah, I only _think_ she’s in that parallel world. But in reality, we could be on Gelvatrop 6 having ice cream!”

Pete stared at him blankly. The Doctor groaned in exasperation.

“Blimey, what’s that thing you humans came up with…? Schrödinger! That’s it! It’s like Schrödinger’s cat!” the Doctor crowed excitedly as though that explained everything. At Pete’s blank look, he quickly elaborated. “The simple explanation is that you’ve got a cat in a box that is either alive or dead, but if you never open the box to look, it can potentially be both. Same principle applies to Rose. I’ve no idea where she is. I never got proof that she’s _actually_ living in that parallel world. So when I saw you disappear with her, you both could’ve either hopped to that parallel world, or teleported to a different floor within this Torchwood building. See, Schrödinger!”

Pete nodded slowly, not knowing what to say in response to the manic man before him, if he was mas or a genius. He settled for stuffing the teleporter the Doctor had made into his pocket.

“Don’t get them confused, whatever you do, do not confuse the jumpers!” the Doctor warned. “And good luck, Pete Tyler. With any luck, by the end of the day, you’ll have your Jackie and I’ll have my Rose. Now get a move on, off you go, down to the basement. And remember, you cannot breathe a word of this to  _anyone_.”

“This seems awfully dangerous,” Pete ventured, walking towards the stairwell.

The Doctor said nothing, stuffing his hands into his pockets, rocking from toe to heel.

“You must really love her,” Pete said softly.

Again the Doctor said nothing, but his jaw was tightly clenched.

“Well, see you around, Doctor.”

And he was alone again.

*          *          *

The Doctor checked the CCTV footage for what seemed to be the hundredth time before materializing into the second-top-most floor of Torchwood Tower. The first thing he did upon his arrival was destroy the surveillance camera in the room, and deadlock seal the door. Thankfully, there were no windows. He didn’t fancy getting sucked into the Void, thank you very much.

Just as a precaution, he fastened chains to a table that was bolted to the floor. The chains were unbreakable, forged from the heart of a dwarf star – the TARDIS helpfully supplied them – but he wasn’t sure of the resilience of the table. He reinforced the bolts, deadlocked them, just to be safe.

The Void would still pull on anyone covered in Void-stuff, but with nowhere to go, they’d get sucked onto the ceiling. Harmless enough, though the drop down wouldn’t be too pleasant.

With that done, there was nothing to do but wait, and listen to the commotion around him. He heard the screams of people outside, and the weaponry of the Daleks and the Cybermen, and knew that the Genesis Ark had just been opened, reining hell down upon the unwitting people of Earth. He also knew that Pete should be jumping to him any moment.

He paced restlessly back and forth, willing his racing hearts to calm. With any luck, he’d have Rose back in his arms within the hour. His hearts kicked into overdrive and his hands were clammy and shaking.

The TARDIS hummed reassuringly in his mind as he made a circuit around the room. He stopped pacing though, when he heard excited voices above him. His heart clenched as he heard Rose’s voice ( _“Pulling them all in!”_ ).

He stared contemplatively at the ceiling before whipping out his sonic screwdriver. If Jackie jumped back with Pete, which he was almost positive she would, there was no telling what kind of racket she would make. She couldn’t tip off past-him.

He fiddled with the settlings of the sonic, finally finding a setting that would generate a vibrational frequency within the molecules of the wall that would create destructive interference with any sound wave coming from inside the room. One-way sonic soundproofing! Rose would’ve been impressed; she might’ve even teased him about resonating concrete.

An ache settled deep in his stomach as he continued to listen to the people above him, paying particular attention to Rose’s voice. He hadn’t heard her voice, or seen her face in months.

Praying to every deity he knew of but didn’t believe in that Pete would come through with this, the Doctor resumed his restless pacing.

Back and forth, back and forth, back and…

“What the bleedin’ hell, Pete?! You tell me right now what the hell is going on!”

The Doctor’s hearts leapt into his throat at he looked into the face of an irate and upset Jackie Tyler. When she spotted the Doctor, confusion knitted her brow, as did righteous anger.

“You!” she shrieked, stalking up to him.

Her hand made contact with his cheek, stinging sharply. He didn’t care, because she was  _here_! And if she was here, then Rose would be here in just a few minutes! His plan was working brilliantly! Oh, he could kiss her!

He didn’t, though. He settled for pulling Jackie in for a rather enthusiastic hug. She continued to protest, loudly.

“Jackie!” he exclaimed happily, grinning widely. “No Mickey then?”

Pete shook his head as he tossed his dimension jumper onto a nearby table and took out his Doctor-made teleport from his pocket, slipping it around his neck. A chill ran down the Doctor’s back; this was the Pete Tyler he’d seen as he jumped away with Rose those many, many weeks ago. He took in a deep breath; this  _would_  work. It had to…

“He wanted to stay behind with his gran,” he continued. “He and Jake will be in charge of that Torchwood, make sure it runs properly. By the way, this teleport, is it designed to carry two people?”

The Doctor nodded and replied, “I’ve designed it so that whoever is touching the device – or, incidentally, the person touching the device – will be teleported. So just get a good grip on Rose and push the button. You both should appear down here.”

“What are you two blathering on about?” Jackie yelled, bordering hysterically. “Tell me what’s going on! Where’s Rose?”

The Doctor turned to look at her. Her eyes were puffy, red, and bloodshot, and mascara was smudged under her eyes. She’d been crying, and looked close to starting up again.

The Doctor placed his hand on her arm comfortingly and said, “We’re hopefully saving Rose. I’ll explain everything once we get her back. Now go into the TARDIS, before the Void gets opened. You’ll be safe in there, I promise.”

Jackie wrenched herself out of his grip, moving away from both the Doctor and Pete. From upstairs, he could hear himself yelling at Rose ( _“…never be able to see her again, your own mother!”_ ). Guilt clawed at his chest; Rose had jumped back to him, sacrificed everything for him, and he’d gone and yelled at her, made it seem like he didn’t want her with him. He should’ve wrapped her in his arms and told her how thankful he was that she wanted to stay with him. He should have sent her to the TARDIS, where she would’ve been safe from the pull of the Void.

Well, hindsight was always 20/20, he supposed, shaking himself back to the present. He needed to focus.

But Jackie heard her too, apparently.

“Is Rose up there?” she asked, sprinting to the locked door. “Unlock this bloody door, I need to get to Rose!”

Frustration mounted within the Doctor.

“Jackie, we don’t have time for this!” he exploded, making Jackie jump. “Please, just get inside the TARDIS. I promise you, I will explain it all. Just give me ten minutes. Ten minutes! Rose will be back, safe and sound. I promise.”

Except he wasn’t sure that was a promise he could keep. Yes, he had the memories of Pete catching Rose, but those memories could quickly change into something new and terrifying. If Pete was a second too late, Rose could fall into the Void and be lost. If he was a second early, Pete could get sucked into the Void, and they both could be lost. If he was just the slightest bit off with his calculations with the teleport, Pete might not even appear at the proper location…

But the Doctor didn’t dare tell Jackie any of that. Instead, he ushered her inside the TARDIS, saying, “Ten minutes. And as soon as the Void closes, you can come out.”

Jackie looked at him as though she wanted to refuse, but at the pleading look in his eyes, she reluctantly agreed.

He gave a sigh of relief and rejoined Pete by the chains he’d set up for them.

“Blimey, she’s stubborn,” he muttered, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

Pete smiled fondly at the TARDIS doors, which were now firmly closed.

“Alright there, Doctor?”

He nodded, even though he wasn’t sure how he was. He tried looking at the timelines, his and Rose’s, to see the outcome of this day, but they were as dark, twisted, and muddled as ever, more so than when he’d told Rose he could feel (and see) a storm approaching. They were right in the thick of it, now.

The Doctor’s hands got sweaty and shaky as he listened to the muffled sounds from upstairs; this was it. He and Pete grabbed hold of the chains as the Void was opened. His body was lifted up off the floor, as was Pete’s.

“And you’re up there fighting this, yeah?” Pete asked.

The Doctor nodded, listening to the sounds of the screaming Cybermen and Daleks being sucked into the Void.

“Erm, Doctor?” Pete asked. “How will I know when to get her?”

The Doctor was about to answer when his own voice began shouting from above them. He listened as his past self begged and pleaded for Rose to hold onto her Magna-Clamp.

He could feel the desperation rising within him, exacerbated by the panicked tone as past-him shouted at Rose. He closed his eyes against the memory, but he could see it clearly: her determination to fix the lever, her body slipping forward and forward until he was sure she would just slip right past the lever entirely. But she’d managed to grab on and straighten it, and the suction from the Void increased. He could still see all of her muscles tensing and straining as she struggled to hold on, until just her fingertips were left clawing at the lever.

The Doctor’s gut churned and he felt nauseated, listening to himself crying out to Rose, and listening to Rose’s panicked whimpers over the roar of the Void. He could hear Pete calling his name, asking him frantically what to do, but his brain continued to supply a play by play of her already-tenuous grip slipping and slipping and slipping…

“Doctor?” Pete shouted, listening to the shouts and cries from the Doctor upstairs.

But then Rose started screaming, a panicked, blood-curdling shriek, and Pete’s eyes went wide. That had to be it. The teleport was looped around his neck, and he fumbled with it, scrambling to hit the button.

The Doctor watched with bated breath as Pete disappeared from view. His hearts were racing too fast in his chest, and his head was swimming as he listened to himself cry out in despair.

_Please, please, please…_

The Doctor begged with everything he was that this would work. He needed it to work. He needed Rose back. If this didn’t work, he didn’t know what else to do. He’d tried everything in and out of his power; he needed her so much that it scared him. She didn’t know how much he needed her, how much he loved her, but oh gods, just give him one more chance to get it right…

_Please, please, please…_

“No! Take me back!”

The Doctor’s hearts flew into his throat as he heard Rose cry out. His body dropped roughly down to the floor as the Void above them closed, eerily reminiscent of his situation weeks ago.

The Doctor upstairs would’ve just dropped limply to the floor, too, his hearts breaking to pieces.

But this time, oh,  _this time_ , there she was.  _Rose!_

Pete had her in his arms, with her hauled over his shoulder. She was flailing around, kicking her legs, and beating at his shoulders with her hands. The Doctor’s entire being was numb and trembling as he watched Rose struggle in Pete’s arms.

“Take me back!” she begged, tears cracking her voice. “Take me back!”

This jolted him back to life, and he picked himself off the floor and over to where Pete was depositing Rose on her feet.

“Calm down, love, you’re fine,” Pete assured.

“No!” she cried, stumbling over to him and trying to wrench the teleport from Pete’s neck.

“Oh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Rose froze at the sound of the Doctor’s voice. She turned to face him. Her face was slack in confusion as her fingers fell limply to her sides. Tears were streaking down her face, smudging her makeup, but he didn’t care. She was so beautiful in this moment, and she was  _here_ , in this universe, just three feet from him! He’d done it!

The Doctor strode over to her quickly and threw his arms around her, crushing her to him. He lifted her off her feet, swaying from side to side, absolutely giddy with relief and happiness. Her arms automatically went around his neck, and everything felt alright again. He let out a choked noise, halfway between a sob and a laugh as he buried his face into her shoulder. He inhaled her familiar scent of vanilla and lavender and sunshine, murmuring her name repeatedly into her neck.

He couldn’t seem to get close enough, get enough contact with her body. He was dimly aware that he was probably crushing her, but couldn’t quite bring himself to loosen his grip. It had been far too long since he’d held her in his arms, breathed her scent, heard her voice. He felt her fingers stroking his neck soothingly, petting the short hairs she found. He nuzzled further into her neck, pressing his lips to the soft skin.

The Doctor finally set her back on her feet. Rose leaned back slightly to look at him. Her eyes were red and swollen, and her mascara had run down her cheeks in thick black lines. But she was beautiful and radiant. He cradled her cheeks and pressed his lips to her forehead, reveling in the scent and taste of Rose Tyler.

“Doctor, I don’t understand,” she whispered, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion, covering his hands with hers.

He opened his mouth to respond, not exactly knowing _how_ to respond, but was interrupted by the TARDIS doors banging open.

“Rose!”

Rose looked over in disbelief when she heard her mother’s voice. The mother she thought she’d lost forever. She broke free from the Doctor, and his arms dropped limply to his sides, achingly empty, as Rose crashed into her mother’s arms.

“You left me!” Jackie accused on a sob, holding Rose tightly. “You just left me, and I’d no idea what happened. These two plonkers haven’t told me a thing!”

Rose giggled through the tears that had restarted. She scrubbed messily at her face, smearing her makeup further, as she turned to the Doctor and Pete.

“Would one of you mind telling me what’s going on?”

The Doctor opened and closed his mouth several times, unsure of how to tell her how he couldn’t bear living without her. How he was ready and willing to break down two universes to get to her. How he’d burnt up a sun in preparation to do so. How these last couple months without her had been some of the most agonizing of his lives.

“Oh, just a bit of jiggery-pokery,” he said flippantly, grinning widely. “And a bit of time travel and clever use of teleportation.”

Rose saw right through his explanation; his voice was too chipper, his smile was too bright. Yet she let it drop.

“What the bloody hell does that mean?” Jackie asked. “You said you’d explain everything, so start explaining!”

The Doctor sighed tiredly. He was suddenly so exhausted. These past few months all seemed to hit him right now, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed, beside Rose, and sleep for a decade or so.

Rose seemed to sense that, and walked over to him. She took his hand and squeezed it comfortingly. The Doctor brushed his thumb against her pulse point, needing the reassurance that she was here and real and with him again.

“The Doctor can explain tomorrow,” Rose said firmly. “It’s been a long day, and I’m sure it’s a long story.”

Jackie looked ready to protest again, but at Rose’s sharp glace, she relented.

“What are we supposed to do now?” Pete asked. “According to you, I’ve been dead going on twenty years. We can’t just go back to normal living.”

“I’ll sort it out,” the Doctor promised. “Later, though. For tonight, can you two manage in a hotel or something? Or even the Estate? I doubt anyone would really notice, to be honest. Everyone’s a bit preoccupied by everything that’s happened. Ooh, or you could just bunk up on one of the guest rooms on the TARDIS?”

Jackie looked at him with increasing apprehension.

“No, ta,” she said. “It’s because of you and your box that we’re in this mess in the first place!”

The Doctor flinched, and Rose squeezed his hand, shooting her mother a withering look.

“No, we’ll go back to the Estate. I expect to see the pair of you back on Earth tomorrow,” Jackie said warningly. “Bloody time machine, you have. Use it, and make sure you’re back  _tomorrow_.”

Jackie took Pete’s hand and headed for the door. Upon finding it still locked, she shot the Doctor an exasperated expression.

The Doctor hurriedly unlocked it, and told them to hurry, and to take the lift; it wouldn’t do for past-him to run into Jackie and Pete. He was finally left alone with Rose. She threaded her fingers through his and guided him to the TARDIS.

As they made the short walk to the ship, the Doctor’s stomach clenched as he spared a thought for his past self. That Doctor’s hearts were currently shattering beyond any hope of repair, as he believed his Rose was forever lost. He would be soon embarking on the same journey he himself had just taken, one of pain and longing, frustration and dead ends, stopping at nothing to get Rose back again.

He tightened his hand around Rose’s as they stepped into the TARDIS.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here there be smut

If Rose was disconcerted by the mess in the console room, she didn’t mention it. She just maneuvered around the various books and bits of TARDIS that were lying around, disassembled. She noted with some curiosity that the library now seemed to connect directly to the console room, and there was a fair amount of broken technology lying around.

She moved to sit on the jump seat, but found her way obstructed by bits and bobs, wires and tools, and one of her jackets. She’d forgotten she left it there, and her cheeks burned as she remembered how distracted they’d been when discarding it.

By the looks of it – rumpled and in a ball – it had been used as a pillow, and well snuggled since she last saw it. Rose didn’t know exactly what had happened, but she had a creative enough imagination to fill in the gaps, even if the Doctor wouldn’t.

She achingly wondered how far into the future this Doctor was. He looked like he could do with a shower, fresh clothes, and a good night’s sleep.

The Doctor silently sent them into the Vortex, before meeting her gaze, smiling tenderly.

“How long’s it been for you, then?” she asked softly, slowly walking towards him as one would approach a spooked animal.

His expression hardened, his eyes seeming to stare through her for just a moment before he smiled brightly and said, “Oh, not too long.”

Rose raised an eyebrow, and he ducked his head, fiddling with dials and levers.

Okay, more than a few days, then, if she were to hazard a guess.

He’d held her so tightly, as though afraid she’d disappear if he let go for just a moment. Rose’s heart broke for him.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, leaning her head against his shoulder.

She traced her fingers across his back, amazed by how tense he was. His muscles relaxed under her touch as she wrapped her arm around his waist. He leaned into her embrace, resting his head atop hers. It didn’t take much to pull him more fully into her arms; she pivoted and leaned her bum against the console, cradling him closely. His forehead fell into the juncture between her neck and shoulder, as his arms wrapped around her waist.

He sighed against her, breathing her in. She was safe and secure in his arms again. After weeks of solitude, emotional upheavals, and failures, he finally had his Rose back.

Her hands stroked his back as she murmured soothingly into his ear. It was only then that he realized he was trembling and tears were leaking from his eyes. His clenched his eyes shut against the stinging sensation as his fingers dug into her sweater, scrabbling for purchase to hold her closer.

These past few months had been emotionally draining as he tried and failed to find Rose time and time again. Finally having her in his arms again seemed too good to be true, and he was fearful that any moment she’d be ripped away. He couldn’t bear to lose her again; it was agonizing enough the first time, he couldn’t go through it again.

He drew in a shuddering breath as Rose continued stroking his back. She kissed his temple soothingly while her fingers traced random patterns along his spine. To think, he’d almost lost this, lost _her_ , forever.

He pressed his lips against her collarbone, lightly at first then with more pressure and suction at the pleased hum she was making. He trailed his lips over her neck and under her jaw, which she tipped back to give him more access.

A faint, splotchy bruise was on the skin of her neck and he brought his fingers up to trace it. It was roundish, and small, no bigger than a pence piece, and a muted reddish-purple.

Rose’s fingers gently covered his, tracing the hickey with him, as she said quietly, “You gave that to me last night.”

The Doctor continued to trace the discoloration, his mind supplying the memory easily.  But it wasn’t from last night, not for him. No, he’d given this to her weeks ago, with her writhing beneath him, her ankles locked around his hips as he thrust deeply into her wet, warm heat. Her neck was always at the perfect height for him to nuzzle and lick and suck, and she was always so responsive when he did so.

The Doctor felt a desperate, aching heat coiling deep in his stomach as he tangled his fingers into her hair, crushing his lips to hers with bruising intensity. Rose let out a strangled whimper and returned the kiss with equal fervor, her fingers twining into his hair to anchor herself.

His mouth moved against hers, hard and commanding, desperately trying to reassure himself that she was still there and very real. He could feel her frantic heartbeat; he could feel her warmth of her blood rushing to her cheeks; he could feel her soft body molding around his, rubbing up against him deliciously. Oh, she was just _so human_ in this moment, and he loved it. He loved her.

Rose moaned into his mouth and dug her fingers deeper into his hair, her nails scratching his scalp in a way she knew he liked. A shiver ran down his spine before settling deep in his stomach.

The Doctor grunted against her lips and pressed his hips into hers, seeking relief, trying to soothe the ache that was building between his legs.

Now. He needed her _now_.

With a growl, he lifted her up onto a section of the console without many buttons or levers. He fumbled with the zipper of her sweater, yanking it down and pushing the garment off of her. He wasted no time in pushing her vest top up and over her head either, while Rose helpfully raised her arms.

His eyes raked over her torso, drinking in the creamy skin of her chest, arms and stomach. Her stomach muscles jumped as he brushed his fingers over the sensitive skin. His hand continued to travel up until he palmed her breasts, still clad in her bra. Squeezing and massaging the firm flesh with one hand, the other snaked around her back to fumble with the clasp of her bra.

His frustration mounted as it remained resolutely clipped, keeping her covered from him. 900 years of time and space, able to thwart diabolical plots and overturn regimes at the snap of his fingers, yet a simple human article of clothing still managed to baffle him.

 Rose gently batted his hand away, and took over, deftly unhooking her bra and shrugging it from her shoulders. She pulled his face back to hers, meshing their mouths back together. She flicked her tongue out to taste him, and when he moaned into the kiss, she slipped her tongue into his mouth, tracing the terrain. Her tongue massaged his as his fingers massaged her newly exposed breasts.

Rose reluctantly pulled away when her lungs burned with the need for oxygen. The Doctor turned his attention to her neck, his lips latching onto the delicate skin, covering the hickey he’d found moments ago.

She shivered beneath him as she felt him licking, sucking and biting. Wanting more skin-to-skin contact, her fingers scrabbled for the buttons of his suit jacket, working hastily to get it off of him. She finally pushed it to the floor, and began working at the buttons of his oxford, tugging the bottom out of his trousers. She opened it to his neck, but was thwarted by his tie.

Grunting in frustration, she clumsily worked the material through her fingers, undoing the knot and slipping the material from his collar. She crowed in triumph as she tossed the silky fabric onto the console unit beside her.

She stripped him quickly of his oxford, pushing it from his shoulders to reveal a white vest top.

“Bloody layers,” she mumbled, pushing him away from her to wrench the thin fabric form his torso.

The Doctor helped her shuck the shirt from his body before quickly latching back onto her collarbone, continuing his thorough exploration of her neck.

Rose scraped her fingernails along his newly-exposed torso, up his toned abdomen and through the light smattering of chest hairs. The Doctor shuddered above her and his body jerk forward, his hips pressing into hers as his teeth bit down on her neck harder than intended. Rose gasped at the sensation, the sting of his teeth then the balm of his tongue sending hot bolts of arousal straight through to her core.

The Doctors hips were rocking restlessly against hers, his confined erection pressing up into her aching center. Rose dropped her hands from his shoulders to pull at his hips and guide him to where she wanted him, to where she would get better friction.

Her head fell back against the rotor and she gasped as the seam of her trousers pressed into her at just the right angle. Her legs wrapped around his narrow hips, keeping him where he was as she rutted herself into him, whispering encouragements.

The Doctor suddenly pulled away, and she whimpered at the loss. But there was a feverish glint in his eyes and desperation to his movements as he clawed at her trousers, tugging them down her thighs.

He yanked her shoes off and threw them over his shoulder so he could completely get rid of her trousers. She wasn’t wearing any knickers; he remembered that their stop at Jackie’s was only meant to be a brief visit. She must have been anticipating a quick return to the TARDIS, and whatever activities she’d planned for their afternoon must not have involved knickers. Minx.

The sight of her naked and glistening before him made his cock impossibly harder and desire coursed through him, overwhelming him. He dropped his head to her shoulder, taking a minute to regain his composure even as his hands mapped out her naked flesh, teasing her nipples and tickling her sensitive inner thighs.

Sensing his urgency, Rose tugged at his trousers, unzipping him carefully, and shoved them down his hips far enough that his erection sprung free. The Doctor groaned in relief when he was free from the confines of his trousers.

Rose’s hands were suddenly everywhere: in his hair, on his chest, on his cock. He hissed at the contact and bucked into her hand, needing the friction, his body chasing after the release he was so desperate for. It would take no time at all. He could just thrust and thrust and thrust into the fingers of her tiny hot hand until he came, and it would be so very good.

His breath came in short pants as Rose’s hands continued to pump him. The head of his aching cock was weeping, and he felt the familiar tingling, the tightening in his lower abdomen, and he moaned.

His fingers clenched around her hips as he forced himself to move away from her and still her hands.

He needed to be inside her now, before he popped off like a bloody teenager.

The Doctor took in a deep breath to steady himself, trying to slow himself down. He needed this to be good for her. He needed to feel her coming apart around him with his name on her lips.

He inserted a finger into her warm, wet heat, making sure she was ready for him. Oh, gods, was she ready. She was so wet for him, so ready, and she cried out at the contact, her hips arching into his hand. He added another finger and pumped in and out of her, spreading the moisture.

“Doctor,” she panted, raking her fingers down his back. “Doctor, now!”

His cock was resting gently against her slit, and he rutted into her, coating himself thoroughly with her wetness. The head of his cock nudged her clit on every upstroke, making Rose moan and shudder.

The coil of pleasure was tightening in Rose’s belly, and with every nudge of his cock against her clit, it wound tighter and tighter. She tilted her hips up, and on his next thrust, the tip of his cock slipped partially inside. He gasped in surprise, and moaned at the overload of stimuli, gripping her hips with bruising force to keep himself still.

Rose wriggled her hips, and the Doctor thrust into her, burying himself to the hilt. They both cried out at the mutual pleasure. Her hands gripped his biceps tightly as she leaned her head against his shoulder, panting. She loved having him buried deep within her; he filled her so completely, so deliciously.

The Doctor forced himself to be still, to let Rose adjust, though every instinct was screaming at him to take her hard and fast. She was so hot and tight and wet, and he couldn’t help but rut against her a bit, desperate for friction.

Rose began rocking into him and sucking at his pulse point, scratching lightly at his scalp. Any self-restraint he may have had crumbled away. His hips worked as a piston, thrusting sloppily in and out of her as the heat and pleasure built up in his groin. His breaths came in short, choppy gasps as he pounded relentlessly into her.

His hands roamed her body, touching everywhere, her stomach, her breasts, her face, as he reassured himself that he’d saved her, that she was staying here with him. Just yesterday, he’d been alone in his TARDIS, working frantically at his plan to save her, not knowing if it would work or not, but praying desperately that it would.

“I lost you,” he choked out against her temple, burying himself as deeply as he could. “You were gone. I lost you!”

His hands wrapped around her back, and he pulled her flush against him, embracing her tightly, his hips still rocking up into hers. He buried his face in her shoulder, kissing her neck reverently.

Rose wrapped her legs around his narrow waist, anchoring him to her, and her arms clung to his shoulders.

“I’m here, Doctor. Right here. Not leaving you. Never leaving.”

Their cries and pants and moans resonated through the console room.

A coiling sensation was building deep in his belly as his balls began to ache. His thrusts were becoming sloppier as he chased his release. He was so close, but he wanted her to come first, and he needed her more completely, in every way he possible could.

“Rose,” he grunted through clenched teeth. “Rose, please, I need…can I…?”

“Anything, my Doctor,” she whimpered into his neck. “So close.”

The Doctor trailed his fingers up her sides, caressing the sides of her breasts, before coming to rest on her temples. The forefront of his mind tingled as he sought to form a connection with Rose. His mind found hers quickly, so warm and inviting, and he had to stop himself from diving straight in without permission, though he was sure she’d welcome him with open arms.

Willing himself a sense of composure, even as they both chased their respective physical releases, he brushed his consciousness against hers, not realizing until now how much he’d missed this, how starved he was for mental connection. Rose’s mind was a beautiful thing; so bright and light, open and welcoming. It was a place he could lose himself in for hours and never realize it.

Rose’s mind became more elastic as she quickly granted him entry. Her complete and all-encompassing acceptance nearly overwhelmed him as he quickly formed a temporary bond with her. They both gasped at the sensation; it was always disorienting for the briefest of moments before the feeling of absolute rightness set in. When they bonded like this, it was as though they were suddenly whole without ever realizing they’d been anything less.

Soon enough, the Doctor was assaulted by the pleasure she was feeling, and vice versa. They’d done this before, though sparingly; it was exhausting to them both. A human was never made to withstand prolonged periods of telepathy, though Rose always performed admirably.

The Doctor groaned as he was enveloped in her, body and soul. He could no longer tell where he ended and she began. His cock ached, yet he could feel the push-pull of Rose’s inner walls clenching around him, trying to keep him inside. He could feel her need for her clit to be touched, he could feel how close she was as she clawed at his back and tried to grind herself down on him.

He reached between them and pressed his thumb against her clit in rough circles. He felt her relief in his mind, and she keened in pleasure, nearing her tipping point. She trembled in his arms, and her pants and gasps became sharper, her moans needier and higher pitched. Just as his orgasm crested, she cried out and her inner walls clenched tightly around him. The coil in his belly snapped completely, and white hot pleasure radiated through his body.

“Rose!” he moaned as his cock pulsed deeply within her. “Rose, Rose, my Rose!”

The pleasure was overwhelming, blurring his vision, but beyond that, he was enveloped in her emotions. He could feel the immense love she had for him, and her concern for him, and her dedication and loyalty to him. He watched as her timeline twined closer and closer to his, tangling tighter and tighter, becoming brighter and stronger as the two tried to fuse.

_No!_

The Doctor retreated slightly from her mind until he was just skimming the surface, startled at how close he’d just come to bonding with Rose, to forming a permanent mental connection with her. Rose felt the mental walls he’d just formed and whimpered at the distance he’d put between them. He felt her hurt and her confusion, as she tried to reconnect with him. He immediately felt guilty, and opened up to her once more, cuddling her mental presence closely yet carefully to his. It was jarring to close off a mental connection as he had done; it wasn’t painful, but the sudden emptiness was devastating.

Rose’s hurt still stung him sharply, even as she snuggled against him, body and mind.

He gathered her closer to his chest, trying to reassure her that she hadn’t done anything wrong, as his emotions tore through him. Guilt and trepidation at very nearly binding Rose to him forever were among the top of the list. Not that he didn’t want that – gods, did he want that – but he at least wanted to discuss that with her first. Love and happiness at having made love to the woman he loves, and at having his very best friend back by his side. Staggering joy and exultation that today had worked as planned.

Rose could feel the storm raging inside his mind, and she could catch glimpses every now and then. The most predominant emotion coming from the Doctor was a sense of serenity and security, as well as waves upon waves of love.

She knew that the Doctor loved her, in his own Doctorish way, but he’d never been so open about it before. She rested her head against his chest, listening to the dual rhythm of his heart as she caught her breath, and basked in the emotions flowing through their bond.

When he’d shut her out a moment ago, it had left her feeling so cold and empty. She didn’t know what had happened, if she did something wrong, or if he’d regretted initiating the telepathic link.

They were getting much better at it, in her humble opinion. She used to be exhausted after they shared a connection, more than just a post-shag sleepiness; now she reveled in the feel of him in her mind. He felt so right there, like he belonged, and whenever he broke the link, she felt alone and bereft.

She focused on how she was feeling, content, happy, and loved, and tried to project those to him. The Doctor hummed happily above her, holding her closer to him and nuzzling her hair.

They were silent for several moments, content to be wrapped up in each other and the feedback loop of love they were sending through to each other.

The Doctor’s mind felt very fuzzy and sluggish, more so than usual after sex. His insomnia was finally catching up to him, as was the emotional tumult of the last few months. The relief and euphoria over having Rose back was more comforting than he could ever dare to describe.

He nuzzled closer to Rose and murmured, “Bed?”

“Little late for that, don’t you think?” she asked cheekily, squeezing him from the inside.

The Doctor gasped, sensitive to the stimuli.

But he smiled at her cheek and said, “To sleep, you minx. Dunno about you, but I’m knackered.”

Rose eyed him critically.

“When was the last time you slept?”

The Doctor gently touched his fingers to her temples in warning as he eased himself out of her mind. She shivered against the sudden loss, her mind trying to re-expand to encompass his again. She couldn’t imagine how it felt for him, a natural telepath who yearned for more permanent mental connections.

He then leaned over and grabbed his tie from the console where Rose had thrown it earlier. He slowly eased himself out of Rose and cleaned them of their combined fluids before tucking himself back in his pants.

“Oh, don’t need much sleep, me,” he said flippantly, stepping back to let Rose hop down off the console.

Rose’s mouth tightened into a thin line, but she didn’t say anything. There was more he wasn’t telling her; much more. But she knew that if she pressed him, he would only retreat further away from her. She fervently hoped that he would confide in her sooner rather than later.

The Doctor, meanwhile, suspected her silence and acceptance wouldn’t last much longer. While she never pressured him to speak, her silent disappointment and hurt was always his undoing, and he was sure it would be his downfall this time, too. But he appreciated it for the time being. For now, he was content to simply revel in her presence.

She pulled on the Doctor’s vest top before slipping her hand into his, and making the short trip to her bedroom.

The Doctor had gradually infiltrated her room, moving his clothes and various knickknacks into her living quarters. Likewise, she’d organized her things to better occupy him. Her room had also morphed in décor, to reflect the occupants. It was no longer a soft pink, but a deep burgundy. The floor was no longer carpeted, but rather a dark hardwood, with a soft, beige shag rug. Her bed had expanded in size after she and the Doctor had made love for the first time. Tiny little changes that turned _her_ room into _their_ room. She loved it.

But she wasn’t sure what to expect when she pushed open the door. Remembering the catastrophe that was the console room, she held her breath and walked in.

Her breath left her lungs in a great _whoosh_. It looked the same as when she’d left it that morning. The bed was haphazardly made up, the duvet hastily pulled up over their pillows. Various articles of her clothing were strewn around the room, not having made it to the hamper. Her makeup still covered the vanity, waiting to be put away properly. One of his ties was looped around the bedpost. A mystery/thriller novel from the 23rd century still was lying spine-up on the bedside table where the Doctor had propped it the night before.

Nothing was out of place. No dust had covered anything. It looked like she’d simply popped out for a trip to her Mum’s.

A light pressure on her hand stirred her from her reverie. The Doctor was looking at her curiously, his thumb gently massaging hers, and she plastered on a smile, leading him to the bed.

It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep.

They crawled under the sheets, and immediately the Doctor tucked Rose into his side, curling himself tightly around her. Rose’s heart broke at the desperation she felt in his grip, but she knew he had to relax or else he’d never get any much-needed sleep.

She turned to face him, her chest flush against his, and wriggled one arm out from under the covers. She traced his facial features, following one freckle to another, making constellations on his fair skin. He hummed in delight, and she felt his muscles loosen.

She pressed a soft kiss onto his jaw before continuing the circuit.

Rose continued with her gentle ministrations for quite some time after he’d fallen asleep, content to watch him. It wasn’t often that she saw him like this. He was usually awake before her, and even if she did get to see him asleep, he was either in the process of waking, or his sleep wasn’t peaceful.

She prayed that he would get a restful sleep; it looked like he sorely needed it.

As he slept, her mind wandered, too active for her to fully power down. She was still so confused by the events that had transpired. One minute she was falling towards the Void, the next Pete was there, catching her, saving her, when he should’ve been in that parallel world with her mum.

And earlier, the Doctor had tried to send her away. Again! Did he not realize how much she loved him? Did he not realize what she meant by forever?

Or just did he not want her here for that long?

Her eyes stung when she had to consider the fact that maybe he didn’t feel as strongly about her as she did him.

But then why had he just taken her so desperately against the console? Why would he invite her so openly and completely into his mind, where she could feel the love radiating from him? No one was that good at acting. He had to love her, at least in some form.

But it wasn’t as though she were unique. Rose Tyler, 21st century shop girl. Nothing special. For all she knew, he did this with all of his companions.

No, she was just being stupid. The stress of the day was getting to her, that was all.

The tears she’d been trying to hold back suddenly leaked out, and she felt the beginnings of a real crying fit starting. Not wanting to wake the Doctor, she carefully extracted herself from his arms and fled to the bathroom.

Closing and locking the door behind her, she slumped back against it before the first of her sobs wracked her body.

She wept for the Doctor, who seemed so broken and angry and frightened; she wept for her mother, because Rose had been so ready to abandon her forever in another universe; she wept for Pete, who was now trapped here, in this universe, and Lord only knows if that was what he wanted; she wept for herself, and how she almost died today, several times over, and how she was almost lost to another universe, or almost lost to the Void.

Slowly, her sobs quieted to sniffles, until finally her eyes dried up entirely. As with any good cry, she felt completely exhausted and achy.

Rose quickly stripped her clothes and turned on the faucet of the shower, turning the water as hot as she could tolerate. The nearly-scalding water loosened her tense muscles – her shoulders ached from hanging from the lever – and washed away the dirt, grime, and sweat from the day, and along with it her troubles.

Wanting to get back to the Doctor before he realized she was gone, she quickly cleaned herself and exited the shower, wrapping herself in the fluffiest towel she could find, before scouring the en suite for a change of clothes. She only found one of the Doctor’s t-shirts. That would have to do, she mused as she slipped the soft cotton over her head. She was immediately enveloped in his scent, and that alone was enough to soothe her further.

She vigorously began to towel-dry her hair when she heard her name.


	4. Chapter 4

They were dancing.

The Doctor had Rose wrapped tightly in his arms as they swayed gently side to side, rocking to the soothing melodies of the piano and saxophone playing in the background. He’d piloted them to New York in 1920 for dinner. They were in a little hole-in-the-wall pub that had taken the decree of prohibition as more of a suggestion. Rose was enjoying every second of it.

The Doctor needed to remember to bring Rose to Earth more often. While exploring other worlds and galaxies was all good fun, he realized there was so much of her own planet she had yet to experience. And he wanted to give it all to her.

When the music started, Rose grinned brightly at him and stood, offering him her hand. How could he possibly refuse, with her looking so radiant? She was wearing a deep burgundy dress she’d found in the TARDIS wardrobe. The satiny material hugged her curves in all the right places, ending just below her knees. The open back exposed large expanses of her creamy skin, which the Doctor caressed lightly, enjoying her soft, human warmth.

Rose’s head was resting lightly on his shoulder, a small, content smile gracing her lips. She looked absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful.

They’d waltzed their way onto the back outdoor patio of the pub, just in time to watch the sun set.

A soft breeze was beginning to blow around them, rustling her gentle curls into her face. He swept them behind her ear, trailing his fingers along her collarbone on the way down.

He sighed contentedly, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“Love you,” he murmured into her hair, the surety and absoluteness of that statement warming him to his core.

She smiled and leaned back to look at him. The colors from the sunset were throwing golden tints into her hair and made her amber eyes glow. He shivered against the memory of another time her eyes glowed gold.

She cradled his cheeks in her palms, gently tracing a path across his eyebrows, across his cheeks, and down his jaw.

The Doctor hummed and leaned into her touch as she continued the circuit.

Rose rocked up onto her tiptoes to brush a kiss across his lips. She pulled back sooner than the Doctor would have liked, and he was left leaning slightly forward, hoping to catch her lips again between his.

The breeze had picked up into a stronger wind. Her hair was being tossed into her face. He was getting chilled, but she seemed not to notice.

“I wish we could stay here forever,” he whispered. “But we should probably go back.”

Rose smiled wistfully and said, “Hmm, that’d be nice.”

The wind picked up until it was harshly buffeting them from side to side.

“We should go,” he said insistently, trailing his hands down her arms to clasp hands with her.

But Rose backed away from him, slipping her hand away from his. He tried to follow, but with every step forward he took, she took two backwards, until he found his legs unable to move at all.

“Rose?” he asked, trying to tamp down his panic. “C’mon Rose. Let’s go back to the TARDIS. Let’s go home.”

Rose smiled at him, but there was no joy on her face, only sorrow and regret.

“You can never keep me for forever. We both know that.”

The Doctor’s heart plummeted into his stomach and it felt as through his hearts were being squeezed too tightly.

“Rose, what are you talking about?” he whispered, reaching forward for her.

The wind was gusting now, whipping around them with unforgiving intensity as Rose walked away from him. She turned back to look at him with such sadness in her eyes.

“See you then, Doctor,” she murmured.

And suddenly she was falling. She was no longer wearing her burgundy dress, but she was in a simple outfit of black trousers and a blue sweater, and she was falling away from him. Falling and falling and falling. She screamed out for him, until she was suddenly gone, enveloped in white nothingness.

“Rose!”

The Doctor jolted back into awareness, his hearts beating frantically as he tried to break through the fog of sleep. Confusion muddled the edges of his consciousness, trying to sift through reality and the dream.

A dream. It was just a dream.

He blew out the breath he’d been holding, and relaxed his tense muscles. When he sank into softness, he tensed again.

Softness? He was comfortable? Looking around at his surroundings, he’d fallen asleep in a bed, rather than the jump seat or console room floor, as was the norm over the last few weeks. Moreover, he was in the bedroom her shared with Rose. He hadn’t stepped foot in there in weeks, not since Rose…

Wait.

Rose?

Rose!

His eyes opened wide as his arm flung out to the opposite side of the bed, reaching, groping for another warm body. But he was only met with cold sheets.

Oh, no, no, no!

His lungs seemed to seize up and his hearts leapt into his throat as his eyes scoured the room anxiously. His dry mouth worked desperately, trying to force air up and out to call for her, but all he managed were gasping pants.

She’d just been there a moment ago, hadn’t she? He hadn’t dreamt her, had he? No, even his imagination wasn’t that good.

“Rose?” he rasped out. “Rose!”

His hearts were frantically beating within his chest, as he struggled to sit up. The blankets were twisted around his hips and legs, and he kicked at them uselessly, only serving to tangle him further. He felt cold, clammy, and nauseated. His ribs felt constrictive, as though the universe had imploded around him.

No, no, no!

She  _had_  to be here! He found her, he saved her! Why else would he be in their room? He’d avoided it at all cost while she’d been gone; he couldn’t bear being taunted with all the little reminders that she was wasn’t there anymore.

The Doctor’s vision was swimming and he was dimly aware that his respiratory bypass system had kicked in. He collapsed back again the bed, his body quivering and his chest too tight to breathe. He curled in on himself and groped around until his hands came into contact with her pillow.

He was vaguely aware of the TARDIS’s presence in his mind, humming soothingly to him. He pushed her out of his mind, not wanting her comfort.

He let out a wheezing sob and buried his face into the soft fabric. It still smelled like her. After all these weeks, it still smelled like lavender and vanilla. His muscles tightened as he tried to swallow the sobs he felt building.

He heard a creaking noise and a soft shuffling before a very warm and very familiar hand touched his shoulder and rubbed soothing circles.

“Oh, Doctor.”

He whimpered as he tried to flip himself over to confirm that Rose Tyler was actually touching him, that she actually existed in the same universe as him. But he was still trapped under the blankets and struggled to free himself.

“Stay still,” she softly commanded, wrestling the sheets away from his body.

Oh, thank all the gods that existed! There she was!

As soon as he was free of his confines, he launched himself up onto his knees and pulled her into his arms. He heard the air rush from her lungs as he pulled her tightly to his chest. A moment later, her arms came around to cradle his neck and shoulders, her fingers soothingly stroking the fine hairs at the base of his neck.

His tense muscles all relaxed at once as he buried his face into her neck, her wet hair tickling his nose.

Wait. Wet hair?

Oh, she must’ve gone to take a shower.

He exhaled in relief and clutched her tighter, willing his racing hearts to calm.

Rose’s heart leapt into her throat as she felt the Doctor trembling in her arms. She cursed herself for leaving him in the first place, and for taking so long in the shower, when it was obvious he was barely hanging onto the loose threads of his sanity.

She finally pulled away from him for just a moment to settle herself onto the bed beside him. She lay down and opened her arms to him, inviting him for a cuddle. The Doctor instantly curled himself into her, his head on her chest and his arm thrown tightly around her middle. His hair tickled her nose, and she softly brushed it away, smoothing it back.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, with Rose stroking his hair.

“Tell me what’s happened Doctor?”

The insistence of her request left little room for circumvention or evasion. He tensed beside her.

“And don’t you dare say it’s nothing,” she warned hotly, seeing the beginnings of his typical blasé response.

Her suspicions were confirmed when his eyes flittered around the room and he clamped his mouth tightly shut.

A few more minutes passed in a tense silence. When it was apparent that the Doctor wasn’t answering, Rose sighed softly.

“Why don’t you begin by telling me how long it’s been for you?”

Nothing. Rose was beginning to feel irritated by his persistent silence, but tamped down her temper.

“Earlier you said ‘ _not long_ ’, but that’s all relative,” she said, speaking faster and more shrilly with every second. “How long has it been,  _exactly_ , for you? Because all this has happened in the span of a few hours for me, but for all I know, you could be years in my future! For all I know, you’ve gone through another companion or two, and just came back for me for a laugh, or you–”

“Forty-six days.”

Rose looked down at him, and saw him resolutely staring at his fingers, which were tracing patterns across her abdomen. Her brain felt fuzzy, as though she couldn’t quite understand what he’d just said. She covered his hand with hers.

“What?” she whispered.

"Forty-six days,” he repeated monotonously. “Forty-six days ago, I watched you lose your grip on your lever, and nearly get pulled into the Void before Pete Tyler caught you and disappeared with you. He had one of those dimension jumpers around his neck, so what was I supposed to think? I thought you were lost to me, forever, in Pete’s World. It took me weeks to try and figure out a way through the Void and into Pete’s World, only to find out I would destroy both realities if I tried.”

The Doctor was speaking quickly now, belaying his agitation. He let go of Rose’s hand and rolled onto his back, glaring at the ceiling. His fingers roughly kneaded his eyes and he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I then tried to get a message through to you on that side, only to have what little gap I found close up before my projection could slip through! Have you any idea how frustrating, and heartbreaking it was to see all of my efforts to find you deemed useless! I tried so hard to find a way through to you! I was so tempted to break through the Void, to hell with these realities. We would’ve been safe in the TARDIS. All of that because I couldn’t bear the thought of living without you! I burnt up a sun just so I could try and say goodbye to you!

“Do you have any idea what these last few months have been like? Do you know what it was like to watch you fall away from me, and think you were lost to me forever?”

The Doctor’s breath hitched, his respiratory bypass seeming to fail him at the moment. Rose looked at him sorrowfully, her heart breaking for him. Forty-six days he’d been alone. Over six weeks.

In the grand scheme of his nine hundred years, six weeks was nothing. She’d honestly expected it to have been longer. From the state of the console room, it seemed like those six weeks were hell. He hadn’t fared quite as well as she’d hoped when the inevitable day came that they would be parted. Granted, neither of them thought it would’ve been so soon, but the evidence of his despair was too great to ignore. The thought broke her heart.

Rose gently rested her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around him. She held him silently for a few moments, sensing that was what he needed.

“I do know what it’s like, though, Doctor,” she murmured after a few minutes. “To be separated from you.”

The Doctor turned to look at her, but she kept her head planted on his shoulder.

“I was the one who fell,” she reminded him. “I was the one falling into the Void, into Hell, not knowing that help was coming. For a few awful seconds, I thought I was going to be separated from you for all of eternity, into nothingness. And the last memory I’d have of you was you screaming. Those few seconds of me falling were the longest of my life, Doctor.”

“Rose, I – ”

“Not finished,” she interrupted gently, finally tilting her head back to look at him. “Today was the second time you’ve sent me away from you. Every time you do that, it makes me feel so helpless, and as though I’ve lost you all over again. And separation doesn’t always have to be physical. Sometimes I can be in the same room as you and feel as though you’re a whole universe away. If we ever are separated permanently again, or if something should happen to me–”

“Don’t say that,” the Doctor said sharply, his fingers digging into her hip.

“I need to know you’ll be okay,” Rose continued as though she hadn’t heard him. “The console’s a mess. It looks like you’ve completely ripped apart the TARDIS, which I’m sure she didn’t appreciate. You’ve not slept in ages. And when was the last time you’ve eaten?”

The Doctor’s silence answered her question well enough. Rose sighed as she snuggled into his arms again, resting her head on his collarbone.

“The universe needs you Doctor,” she murmured into his neck.

“And I need you,” he whispered into her hair, sending a thrill of warmth through her.

“You’ve gotten on for nine-hundred years without me,” she reminded him. “You can do it again.”

The Doctor said nothing, but held her tightly.

They sat in silence for a few minutes before Rose murmured, “You can’t send me away anymore. I need to be able to make that decision for myself.”

The Doctor played with her hair as he murmured, “I can’t promise you that. I can’t promise I won’t send you away again if that’s what will keep you safe.”

“But what about you?” she asked sternly, rising up away from him.

He made a noise of discontent and sat up too.

“We’ve proven time after time that we work best together,” she said. “You would’ve been in a heap of trouble if I hadn’t helped with those levers.”

“I could’ve managed,” he said petulantly, wrinkling his nose at her suggestion otherwise. “I could’ve set a time delay with the opening of the breach so it wouldn’t’ve opened fully until the second lever was activated.”

“Doctor,” she sighed exasperatedly.

“Rose,” he sighed back, feigning equal levels of exasperation

A small smile twitched across his lips as she rolled her eyes and swatted at him lightly. He caught her hand between his and pulled her into his arms again.

“You should get some more sleep,” Rose murmured lightly into his chest, her own eyes growing heavy with exhaustion.

“I just want to hold you for awhile,” he mumbled, nuzzling into her hair.

Rose slowly maneuvered them so that they were lying down again with her head on his chest. The Doctor twined his fingers with hers as his other arm wound tightly around her shoulders, anchoring her securely against him.

“I promise I won’t leave,” she murmured into his chest, feeling how tense he was beside her. “Promise.”

The Doctor gradually relaxed beside her and pressed one last lingering kiss on her forehead before letting out a contented sigh.

Rose listened as his breathing evened out and deepened, and she let the soothing bipartite rhythm of his heart lull her further and further into unconsciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And with this chapter, we’ve got a few declarations of love as well as some revelations about Rose the Doctor never anticipated.

Rose awoke the next morning feeling groggy and confused, but well rested. She nuzzled closer to her pillow as she tried to shed the remaining vestiges of sleep.

“Oh!”

The memories of the last twenty-four hours came back to her with the gentleness of a hurricane, and she bolted upright. Vertigo blurred her eyes as she glanced at the bed beside her. Empty. Just before she could wonder where the Doctor was, the door to their bedroom swung open, revealing the Doctor holding a tray laden with food.

He looked so much better than he had last night. He had on pajama bottoms and a cotton shirt; his hair was fluffy and slightly damp, and his jaw was clean-shaven once more. He still looked thinner than Rose would have liked, but the deadness behind his eyes had mostly disappeared, for which she was grateful.

“Good morning!” the Doctor crowed, beaming at her when he noticed her staring.

“Morning,” she said. “How long have you been up?”

“Oh, not long,” he said. “Had a shower and shave, and cleaned up the TARDIS a bit. Still have a bit of work to do on her, but for now, she’ll be all right.”

Rose reached over and rearranged their pillows to support her back as she propped herself against the headboard. He set the breakfast tray across her lap for just a moment before he wriggled back into bed beside her. He scooted as close to her as physically possible, pressing his thigh tightly to hers as he wrapped his left arm around her waist.

They picked at their food in relative silence, enjoying the warmth and closeness of the other.

“How’d you sleep?” Rose finally asked, cradling a mug of tea in her hands.

His jaw tightened for just a moment before he smiled at her and said, “Better than I had in weeks. Thank you.”

Rose rested her head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I’d left you alone like that last night,” she whispered. “I’d hoped to be back in bed before you noticed.”

“Why did you leave?” the Doctor asked curiously.

“I got a shower,” Rose answered quickly, ducking her head to swallow a gulp of tea.

“In the middle of the night?” he asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“There is no nighttime on the TARDIS,” Rose quipped glibly.

The Doctor sighed and nuzzled into her hair.

“Of course you don’t have to tell me if you really don’t want to, but it’s hard for me to be honest with you when you won’t do the same for me,” the Doctor said quietly.

Guilt shot through Rose’s heart as she remembered how she’d pushed and pushed and pushed for him to tell her what had happened to him between when she’d fallen away from him and towards the Void until she reappeared beside him again.

“Sorry,” she said, pressing her lips to his chest. “I just…I needed some time to think. It had been a long day, and I was so confused and emotional and didn’t want to wake you with my restlessness.”

“Want to talk about it?” he offered softly, rubbing his thumb over her clothed hip.

Rose heaved a great sigh and set her mostly empty mug on their mostly-full breakfast tray before moving the tray to the bedside table.

“When we were in the console room earlier…”

“Shagging?” he supplied cheekily when she trailed off.

She smirked and swatted at his arm.

“Yeah. But, y’know, _after_ , you sort of…blocked me?” Rose asked uncertainly, unsure if she was breeching some sort of telepathic etiquette. “What happened? Did I do something wrong?”

The Doctor cringed against the memory, shivering as he remembered how wonderful it felt to share his mind with Rose, and then then how close he had coming to claiming her as his bondmate.

“No, no,” he assured. “You didn’t do anything wrong. If anything, you’d done something a little too right.”

Rose cocked an eyebrow, waiting patiently for him to explain. The Doctor sucked in a breath and held it for a moment before blowing it out noisily.

“Time Lords are telepathic,” he began, faltering for the right words to describe his blunder.

“I hadn’t realized,” Rose teased, hoping the lightness would help him talk.

It worked. Though the Doctor rolled his eyes, he smiled fondly at her and rested his cheek on the top of her head.

“What we’ve shared in the past is just a temporary bond,” he said. “Fleeting, shallow, and easily unmade. But there is such a thing as a permanent bond between telepathic beings. That sort of connection is permanent and unbreakable, at least until the death of one of the partners.”

Rose listened quietly, her intuition flaring.

“And is that what almost happened?”

The Doctor groaned and unwrapped his arm from around her waist to scrub at his eyes.

“I didn’t mean to,” he said fervently. “I swear. I didn’t mean to let it go that deep. I didn’t even know it would be possible for us.”

Rose swallowed the sudden lump in her throat as a heavy weight settled into her aching stomach.

“S’okay,” she mumbled, blinking rapidly and letting her hair fall into her face to give her a moment to compose herself.

“Rose?” he asked softly.

He reached for her hair, his fingers itching to swipe it behind her ear to give him a glimpse of her face. He knew he had upset her, but he hoped she could find it in herself to forgive him for his slip-up.

“I’m so sorry, Rose,” he said again, willing her to believe him. “I didn’t mean…I would never…”

“Of course you’d never,” she said bitterly, glaring at her lap. “Sixty years is hardly enough time for a bond with a stupid ape to be worth it. It’s fine.”

Rose inhaled deeply as the Doctor’s hearts stopped.

“It’s fine,” she said softly, turning to look at him finally. Tears glittered in her eyes, but her face was so honest and forgiving. “Really. It’s fine. I’ll take as much as you’ll give me.”

“Oh, Rose,” he whispered, stomach clenching. He tugged her into his arms, pulling at her hips to urge her into the V-shaped space between his parted legs. “Rose, you misunderstood me. It is a high offense for a telepathic being to initiate a bond on an unwilling or unaware partner. I nearly foisted myself upon you in a permanent, unbreakable telepathic connection that you’d never be able to escape from. That’s what I was apologizing for. A bond such as that with you would be such an honor, Rose, _such_ an honor. But I didn’t think you’d want that with me.”

Rose’s let out a breath of relief.

“Would that even be possible?” she asked curiously, pulling back to look at him. “That sort of permanent bond?”

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I hadn’t thought so, but I’d been a few short moments from completing it with you yesterday. Your mind shouldn’t have been able to handle it, and yet it did. That’s why I hadn’t realized how deeply I’d allowed our temporary bond to go. Your mind should not have been able to do that.”

The Doctor’s lips pursed into a thin line, and Rose could almost see his synapses firing as his brain worked.

“Med bay,” he said suddenly, tapping at her hip to get her to move.

“Doctor, I’m fine,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“Your mind should _not_ have been able to accept an offer of a permanent bond like that,” he said sharply. “I need to make sure you’re okay, and that my mind didn’t do any damage to yours when I blundered in like that. Please. I need to make sure I didn’t hurt you.”

The Doctor stared at her beseechingly, tracing his fingertips from her temples and down her cheek. His eyes looked anguished, and Rose’s heart clenched.

“Okay,” she whispered, covering his hand with hers where it rested on her jaw. She turned her head to press a kiss to his palm. “Okay.”

He let out a thankful sigh, and crawled off the bed after her. He twined his fingers tightly through hers and guided her to the infirmary.

She hopped up onto the exam table and watched him move around the room. He pointed his sonic at the computer, and then at a pair of electrodes, which he stuck to Rose’s forehead and temples. He slowly circled his sonic around her head for a few moments before sticking the tool into a circular port on the side of the computer.

A loading bar popped up, and the Doctor nodded in satisfaction before he rummaged through a drawer on the opposite side of the room. He grabbed a syringe and a 24th century antiseptic/numbing wipe before walking back to her.

“Arm, please,” he said, even as she extended him her left arm.

He rubbed the wipe along the crease of her elbow, making her skin tingle for a moment. Rose was always fascinated with future technologies, and watched as the needle punctured her skin without causing the usual pinch.

The Doctor drew a vial of her blood before removing the needle and putting a plaster on the tiny drop of blood forming from the needle wound.

He turned wordlessly away from her, popping the vial of her blood into a nearby instrument.

Rose hopped down from the exam table and walked up behind the Doctor to wrap her arms around his waist. He tensed for a moment before relaxing into her touch.

“Why the blood sample?” she asked, watching the loading bar on the computer slowly fill to completion.

“Just being thorough,” he said breezily, tapping in a series of commands once the results from the sonic and blood test were fully loaded.

He scrolled through the results far too quickly for Rose to see, and even if she could, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to understand the medical jargon.

“Doctor, what’s it say?”

He was silent and tense, glaring at the computer as if the results would change if he just glared hard enough.

“Doctor, just tell me,” she said, forcing her voice to be strong and steady. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it together, yeah?”

The Doctor turned and wrapped her in his arms. Rose automatically wound her arms around his waist and nuzzled her cheek into his chest. The Doctor buried his face in her hair, and Rose felt his chest rumbling as he spoke softly to her.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he whispered to her hair.

“Please just tell me, Doctor,” she murmured into his neck, her hands rubbing soothing circles against his back.

He pulled away from her, and couldn’t help but press his lips to her forehead before turning and typing in a few commands on the computer, removing his sonic, and grabbing a small device that looked like a small tablet. The Doctor took her hand in his, and guided her out of the med bay and to the library, where a fire was crackling and tea was waiting.

Rose instantly cuddled into his side, pulling his arm to her chest as she tucked her feet under her. Rose was nervous about the results of her medical tests, but she was more nervous about the Doctor, and his reaction.

“Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it together,” she reminded him softly.

He sighed, and began fiddling with the tablet reader in his lap. The screen glowed to life, and displayed a bunch of text and figures that made little sense to Rose. Even the little spiral of DNA looked nothing like what Rose was expected.

“This is your DNA,” he said, pointing to the figure.

Rose’s brow furrowed as she said, “But I thought human DNA only had two strands. Why’s this got three?”

The Doctor’s lips quirked upwards into a small smile; Rose never missed a thing.

“Quite right,” he said. “Human DNA does only have two stands that wrap themselves into a double helix formation.”

“So this third strand is bad, yeah?” Rose asked nervously. She didn’t feel any differently; surely a third helix would have an effect?

“Well, depends on your perspective,” he answered quietly, glaring at the floor.

Rose’s test results stayed in his mind’s eye, the third strand to her DNA that shouldn’t be there taunting him. If she had a third strand of DNA, then she was physiologically just like him. His third strand of DNA was what connected him to the TARDIS, to the Vortex, to Time itself. It allowed him to regenerate. It was what made him a Time Lord, and if Rose had that strand, too…

He would need to run more tests, of course, but by all accounts, from the new third strand of her DNA, to the heightened Artron and Huon levels in her blood stream, and the nearly non-existent pattern of cellular degradation, then Rose would be living much, much longer than they ever expected. It was very possible that he could keep Rose for the rest of his forever, and he felt horribly guilty for being glad about that.

“Time Lords have three strands to their DNA, one that cuts a straight line through the double helix to interact with and influence the rest of the DNA sequence. It’s how we can bond with our TARDISes and allow for regeneration,” the Doctor finally said, aware he had been silent for too long. “That third strand is the one that stays constant, even through regenerations.”

“But…if I’ve got that third strand too…”

Rose trailed off, her mind racing.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I didn’t know. It must’ve happened when you became Bad Wolf. The TARDIS, she must’ve altered your DNA. That’s why we’ve been able to form a temporary bond whenever we-whenever we’ve made love.”

“If I’ve got that third strand in my DNA, does this mean that I’m like you?” Rose asked cautiously. “A-a Time Lord?”

“Time Lady,” he automatically corrected. “And no. Those were just titles and ranks bestowed upon Gallifreyans. So your physiology mimics a Gallifreyan’s. That third strand is keeping you bonded to the TARDIS. It-it…”

The Doctor swallowed the lump in his throat.

“Your life is tied to hers,” he whispered finally.

“Is that a bad thing?” Rose asked tentatively.

“You’re going to live for a very long time,” the Doctor explained somberly. “I’m so sorry. I never imagined the TARDIS would do something like this to you.”

The lights above them flashed and the ship’s hum sharpened, as though she were reprimanding him.

“It wasn’t her fault,” Rose said soothingly. “I think…I think I asked for this.”

“You did what?” he said flatly.

“Okay, maybe _asked_ wasn’t the word I was looking for,” Rose amended. “But when I opened her heart last year for a way to save you… My memories are all fuzzy, but I remember needing to save you, and wanting to keep you safe forever. My Doctor.”

The Doctor shivered as she repeated the possessive words she’d spoken a year ago when she was wreathed in gold, the Goddess of Time.

“I promised you forever, Doctor,” Rose said quietly. “Do you really want it, now that you know it’s longer than you expected?”

The Doctor blinked down at her, needing to erase the look of doubt on her face.

“Rose, I told you that you could spend the rest of your life with me,” he said, stroking his fingers through her hair. “And I meant that. Whether you had sixty years or sixty centuries, I’d want as much as you’d want to give me.”

Rose smiled shyly at him, ghosting her fingers against the back of his neck to pull him in for a kiss. He sighed against her lips, his heart fit to bursting with love for this woman, whom he could apparently keep for the rest of his forever.

Happiness and excitement and a bit of fear swelled up inside of him, second only to the utter joy and love he felt for Rose.

He parted their lips too soon for either of their liking, and rested his forehead against hers.

“I love you,” he whispered.

Rose smiled at him and brought her hands up to stroke his cheeks.

“I know,” she said. “I love you too.”

The Doctor grinned at her, and captured her lips for another kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there is bonding, and a small nsfw scene right after they've bonded.

Much later, their minds buzzed pleasantly with a mix of endorphins brought on by another bout of shagging, as well as from the telepathic connection neither of them wanted to break. They’d put most of their clothes back on, the intent being to do something productive with their day. But when the Doctor pulled Rose into his lap with a soft plea to just hold her for a bit, she couldn’t bear to move.

The Doctor pulled Rose’s back flush against his front, enjoying her warmth and the feeling of her torso rising and falling with his chest as he breathed. He had missed her warm weight in his arms, and he was loath to let her out any time soon.

She tugged on his hands until he moved them into her lap, and he hummed contentedly as she played with his fingers. He burrowed his nose into the crook of her shoulder and basked in the gentle buzz of her on the edges of his consciousness, feeling calmer and more at peace than he’d felt since that horrible day at Canary Wharf.

“When you were talking about a permanent bond earlier,” Rose said hesitantly, tracing the lines of his palm. He caught a flash of nervousness before her mind receded slightly from his. His impulse was to grab hold and bring her back to shower her in reassurances, but he inhaled deeply and let her have some distance. “Would you…would you want something like that? With me?”

The Doctor caught her hand in his and clasped it tightly as he tilted his head around towards her to try and catch her eye.

“It would be my genuine honor,” he said thickly, repeating the words he’d said earlier.

He nudged her consciousness, asking permission to enter, which she readily gave. Once he’d strengthened their temporary bond, he allowed her to see everything he was feeling, from his utter serenity to his joy to his fear to his love, and everything in between. But first and foremost, he allowed her to see his genuine desire for a marriage bond with her.

“Marriage bond?” Rose asked aloud.

The Doctor’s cheeks warmed at the slip. He twirled a strand of her hair around his finger as he said, “That’s what it was called. A bond such as that was formed out of a deep and eternal love. Marriages on Gallifrey were often formed for political or social gain. But every now and then, a match would be made where the couple truly loved each other, and they would opt for a full marriage bond.”

“How’s it work?” Rose asked, shuffling around until she was leaning sideways against his chest. “Would it be like this all the time?”

She gestured vaguely to her head, where she could still feel faint traces of him around her consciousness. She furrowed her brow when she felt a spike of uncertainty from him.

“Not quite,” he admitted. “What we’ve got now… A marriage bond… It’s…”

He exhaled an exasperated sigh. Rose tentatively reached for the edge of his consciousness, wanting to offer him some measure of comfort or encouragement, but not knowing how. So she focused on that little spark of him in her mind as well as how much she loved and trusted him.

The Doctor let out a strangled gasp and his arms tightened around her.

“Blimey, you’re a quick study,” he chuckled shakily into her hair, accepting her proffered comfort. “But anyways. As I was saying… A marriage bond is a bit more intense than what we’re sharing right now.”

“More intense?” Rose asked skeptically.

“Oh, yes,” he whispered, forcing his mind back from hers as it yearned to burrow deeper and deeper into her essence. “It’s a bit of a swap. A part of my mind would reside in yours, and a part of your mind would reside in mine. Right now, our minds are meshing on a surface level only, like a piece of loose stitching. Threaded together, but easily undone. A marriage bond would be like steel cables twisting around themselves in an intricate knot. It’s strong and solid, and broken only by the final death of your bondmate.”

“So I would feel you in my mind all the time?” Rose clarified, tamping down the thrill of anticipation at the thoughts.

“Yeah,” the Doctor said. “It’s not the prettiest of places, I know. So if you’d rather not, that’s all right. I barely want to live with some of the thoughts in my head. I can’t fault you for not wanting that. What we’ve got now with each other is absolutely brilliant and more than I’d hoped possible.”

“Hey,” Rose said softly, trying to pull him from the self-loathing hole he was digging. “I haven’t said no. I just want more information about it. It sounds beautiful.”

The Doctor smiled at her, relishing the golden spark of her on the edges of his consciousness. She was so beautiful and warm in his mind, and it took every ounce of restraint he had to not forge ahead and make her a permanent fixture in his mind. If she chose not to complete a marriage bond with him, he worried about his restraint should they choose to temporarily bond in the future.

“So what would it be like, having a marriage bond?” Rose asked, and the Doctor’s couldn’t smother the thrill of hope before she saw it. “This is something I want to do for you, Doctor. To do _with_ you.”

“It’s forever,” he warned again, needing her to understand the totality of what she was offering. “I can’t stress this enough. And remember, you’ve got centuries ahead of you yet, not just decades anymore. This isn’t something you can get out of a few years down the road. You’d be stuck with me for the rest of your life. Or the rest of mine.”

“Yeah, but stuck with you, that’s not so bad,” Rose said sincerely. “I love you.”

The Doctor pressed his lips to her hair, wondering how in the universe he was lucky enough to have the woman in his lap.

“So, the bond,” Rose said again. “Not that I wouldn’t want you in my head all the time, but that sounds…invasive. Like I’d have no privacy anymore.”

“There are ways to shield your thoughts,” he assured. “I can teach you. But a marriage bond _is_ intimate, that’s the point of it. It’s the most intimate a couple can be. Even more intimate than sex. That’s why they were so rarely done, and only formed between two people that loved each other deeply and unconditionally.”

“Sounds lovely,” Rose said softly. Her head swam with the realization that if the Doctor was openly discussing the possibility of bonding with her, then he truly _loved_ her, wholly and completely. It was a humbling realization, and one Rose cherished deeply. “I think I’d like something like that with you.”

“You _think?_ ” the Doctor asked sharply. “No, you need to be more sure. A marriage bond is _forever_ , Rose. I _need_ you to be completely sure. We couldn’t undo it. Ever.”

“I am sure, Doctor,” Rose said firmly, cursing herself for her poor word choice. “I’ve already promised you forever. And I meant it. I just…are _you_ sure?”

The Doctor projected to her his fervent desire as he pressed a tender kiss to her temple.

“Oh, yes. When I thought I’d lost you…” He broke off for a minute, shuddering as the memories of the last few weeks without Rose assaulted him. The spark of Rose grew brighter and warmer until he was completely wrapped up in her.

“How’d you do that?” he asked incredulously.

“I dunno,” Rose admitted sheepishly. “I don’t really know what I’m doing here. It’s just sort of…instinct? I dunno…”

“You beautiful, incredible, _brilliant_ woman!” he exclaimed proudly, tilting his head down to plant a firm kiss to her lips.

“You were saying?” Rose asked breathlessly when he finally pulled away.

“Hmm?” the Doctor murmured, as he trailed his nose across her cheek and up her temple. “Oh, right. Yes. When I thought I’d lost you, I swore to myself if I ever found you again, I wouldn’t hold back anymore. I wouldn’t take my time with you for granted, or leave myself with any regrets. So yes, I would very much like to bond with you, but _only_ if you want it too, and not because you’re trying to make me happy. Because you’ll have to live with it forever, too.”

“Sounds perfect,” Rose said. “When can we do it?”

The Doctor nearly choked on his tongue as he felt her complete and utter acceptance and anticipation.

“Ehm, now?” he squeaked, his hearts hammering in his ribcage.

“Can we?” Rose asked eagerly.

The Doctor closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. The spark of Rose in his mind flared brightly, and judging by her sharp inhale, his presence flared in her mind too.

“Are you sure?” he asked, basking in the golden glow of Rose.

“Yes,” Rose said firmly, and her consciousness dove deeper into his.

“Gods, Rose!” he yelped, feeling dizzy as he was immersed in her.

“Oops.” Her presence receded, and he grabbed at it to keep her where she was.

“If you want to go through with this right now, we’ll need to go deeper than this,” he whispered.

He let out a breath of relief when he heard and felt her assent. He slowly pressed his mind deeper into hers, breathing steadily so as not to overwhelm them both by diving right in. He quickly hit the depth he’d hit yesterday, when he’d been so close to foisting this bond upon Rose without her knowledge or awareness.

“Last chance,” the Doctor whispered, shaking slightly as he forced himself to give her one last chance to back out.

“Do it,” she whispered, trembling with anticipation and desire in his lap.

The Doctor closed his eyes and allowed his mind to press closer and closer to Rose’s. He could see her timeline, a beautiful, branched web of gold, and he looked at his own, a more chaotic, messy web of silver. He hummed happily when he noticed the jagged, twisted edges of their individual timelines mirrored each other, creating a perfect match.

_Ready?_

Rose gasped as she felt him echoing in her own mind, and she quickly nodded, stretching towards the silver-blue light of him.

 _Just like that, Rose_ , he urged. She was lighting up every corner of his mind, just as he was lighting up every corner of hers.

The Doctor squeezed his eyes shut as he concentrated on threading their timelines together, the first step of the bond, which he had nearly completely yesterday.

He watched her golden threads tie together with his silver threads, overlapping and building together to form something new yet familiar. Their pasts were divergent and the present converged until the future was a brilliant gleam of gold and silver. It was beautiful.

He then turned to his Rose-infused mind. His mind glowed gold, brighter than it had ever been before as Rose continued to sink deeper and deeper into his consciousness, and he sank deeper into hers. When he felt as though he were as deep as he could possibly be, he carefully washed his own consciousness over hers, blending the two of them seamlessly and completely within his mind.

 _It’s beautiful_ , Rose whispered, surging forward and further into his mind, chasing the silver light, just as she was supposed to. The ease with which she was mastering telepathy warmed him and made him feel as though this was always meant to happen, that they were always meant to be joined like this, body and soul.

 _Nearly done_ , he whispered, guiding her on how to blend her consciousness with his.

 _I feel like I’m a kid using finger paints,_ Rose commented, washing her gold consciousness over his silver one within her mind.

The Doctor watched in fascination and joy as her golden presence reflected his silver-blue hue, and he saw in her mind that his blue-silver spark flamed gold.

His mind was suddenly filled with a new golden-silver light, a combination of Rose and him, and Rose’s gasp of astonishment reassured him that all was going well on her end.

He felt it the moment the bond was finally formed, because his mind suddenly expanded, as though a wall between two rooms had been broken down to form one larger room with the both of them in the middle.

 _Doctor!_ Rose gasped, feeling her mind’s metaphorical walls breaking down.

 _Are you okay?_ he asked, worried about the enormity of it all overwhelming her.

_It’s…it’s incredible! I can feel you everywhere! You’re beautiful!_

_So are you, love_.

The Doctor’s throat swelled shut with emotion as he started retreating from the depths of her mind. When he felt his consciousness slip back into his own headspace, he sighed in relief when he could still feel Rose’s presence closely tucked against his as prominently as she’d been when he’d been in the very epicenter of her own consciousness a few minutes ago.

 _I love you_ , he murmured, brushing a tender touch against her mind. He smiled as her brow furrowed in concentration, and then he sucked in a sharp breath as he was bombarded by her complete and utter love for him.

 _Too much_? she asked sheepishly, reaching a softer touch towards the new yet familiar silver-gold spark in her mind.

 _You are incredible,_ he breathed, pressing his lips frantically to hers. _You’re amazing. You are so brilliant. I love you so much._

Rose returned the kiss with equal fervor, shuddering as she felt his arousal and want pooling alongside hers. It felt so _right_ to be joined with him like this, and though they had been bonded for barely five minutes, she couldn’t think of how her mind had been before; the memories felt too empty and cold.

 _Thank you, thank you, thank you_ , he murmured, relishing the way his mind could dive into hers with absolute ease. He was completely surrounded by Rose; her warmth and beauty and love were so intoxicating, and he shivered pleasantly as he realized this was now his reality.

 _Forever_ , she whispered, catching sight of his awe and adding her own.

The Doctor sealed his lips over hers once more, and opened his mind to his bondmate, his wife, his Rose, to let her know how loved and cherished she was. She, in turn, ran a gentle, loving touch across his mind.

He gasped as Rose nudged against a raw piece of his mind, the piece that housed his memories of the last few weeks. Rose watched his struggle to find a way through the Void and to Pete’s World, and she ached for him as she watched his frustration and devastation when he realized it was impossible.

 _Ahh, sorry, love_ , the Doctor said, and Rose could feel him trying to close off the memory.

 _No, don’t_ , she whispered. _Let me help._

The Doctor paused for a moment. Lurking just beneath those memories were others even more terrible and painful, and he wanted to shield Rose from those darker pieces of himself for as long as possible.

 _I love you, my Doctor. Every part of you. Past, present, and future. Please don’t be afraid to show me. Don’t hide from me, please_.

 _Never_ , he promised. _But those aren’t memories I’d like to revisit right now. Not when we’ve just bonded. This is a happy time. Please._

Rose nodded in acquiescence, feeling his honesty as he promised he’d never keep anything from her again. She retreated from the depths of his memories, and was hit once again by his lingering hurt and fear, and she unthinkingly surrounded his wounded mind.

His pain and anguish from the last several weeks slowly melted away at her tender touch. Every raw and aching spot in his mind was suddenly awash with Rose, being soothed by her presence. The gaping wound in his telepathic centers left behind after the War was finally filled by Rose and her golden-silver light.

 _You’ve been so lonely, my Doctor_ , she whispered as she ghosted her touch against the heavily scarred patches of his mind where the rest of the Time Lord once buzzed. _I’m so sorry, Doctor. You’ll never be alone again. I’ll always be here_.

The Doctor clutched at her desperately, burrowing closer and closer into her golden glow. What a difference a day could make, he marveled. Barely twenty-four hours ago, he’d been collaborating with Pete for a way to save Rose, hoping beyond hope that she could be saved.

 _I’m here_ , Rose murmured. _I’m so sorry you were without me for that long. But I’m here now, and I’m never going to leave you_.

The Doctor sighed happily as he framed her face with his hands to angle her lips down towards his. Sparks of pleasure shot form his lips and deep down into his belly, making him shiver and pull her closer.

They gasped as their arousal was reignited, and they wasted no time in removing the essential bits of clothing so that they could join together for the first time as a newly bonded couple.

Their bond flared as Rose sank down on him, and a feedback loop of pleasure was quickly created, more intense than anything they’d ever felt before. They barely established a rhythm before the Doctor cried out sharply and pulsed his release deep within her, causing her walls to spasm around him as she climaxed as well.

They panted harshly against each other’s skin, trembling from the intensity, before Rose finally giggled above him.

“I think that’s got to be a record,” she laughed, feeling warm and giddy.

“I didn’t expect…wow...” he finally gasped, chuckling into her shoulder. “Felt like a bloody adolescent again. Blimey. Sorry about that.”

“I’m sure we’ll get better at it… We just need to _practice_ ,” Rose purred, nuzzling her nose against his temple. The Doctor shivered as he felt warm pulses of arousal stirring deep in his belly once more.

“Insatiable, you are,” he mumbled, scraping his teeth against her collarbone.

“Complaining?” she gasped, tilting her neck back to give him more access.

“Absolutely not,” he said.

He brushed his mind against the pleasure centers of her brain, not having had the time to do that for their first coupling but wanting to test the spectrum of reactions he could eek from Rose.

Rose shuddered and whimpered and buried her fingers in his hair. She sought out his half of the bond and tried to mimic his touch, and could tell she was successful as he grumbled out a low moan. She mirrored his mental caresses until he was completely hard inside her once more.

“Rose,” he panted in warning. “Gonna have the same problem as before if you keep that up, love.”

Rose grinned salaciously at him, and trailed a tickling touch over his pleasure centers, not nearly enough to bring him to completion, but enough to tease. He gasped harshly into her neck and thrust up into her.

“Minx,” he growled, grabbing her hips and flipping them over.

“You love it,” she smirked, lifting her legs to lock her ankles around the small of his back.

“I do,” he said earnestly. He pressed a soft kiss to her lips and eased off on the passionate touch to their bond for just a moment to make it more sweet and tender. “But perhaps we can skip ahead to the main event?”

“Now who’s insatiable?” she teased, rocking her hips up into him.

The Doctor let out a string of curses in a multitude of languages as his hips jolted forward. Rose’s pleasure washed over him, and he bit back a groan as he realized this would be over far too quickly again.

 _S’okay_ , Rose assured him. _Just keep moving. This feels so good._

The Doctor grunted into her ear and surged his hips forward, increasing the pressure on the pleasure centers of her brain, wanting her to fall over first this time. Her pleasure mounted and mounted, and he moaned lowly, unsure if he’d be able to last until she came, but thankfully she cried out his name and pulsed around him, pulling him deeply into her ecstasy.

The Doctor collapsed on top of Rose, his shaking arms unable to support his weight. Rose wrapped her arms and legs around him and held him close.

When he felt as though he could move again, the Doctor carefully rolled them onto their sides to spoon on the sofa that had most definitely not been this wide ten minutes ago.

“Will it always be like this?” Rose murmured groggily. “Like I can never get enough of you? How could I ever let you leave our bed?”

“Well, we’re on the sofa, so does that count?” he asked smugly.

She smacked his chest lightly with the back of her hand, and snuggled closer.

“I hope it always feels like this,” the Doctor whispered, unable to imagine a day where he would ever be used to sharing his mind with someone like Rose. “This is the most incredible…the most perfect…the most wonderful…”

He snapped his mouth shut with a click as his words failed him, and he instead opened himself up to her and showed her his amazement and his gratefulness.

“I love you,” he whispered against her temples, and he sighed happily as she returned the sentiment.

His eyes felt heavy and he let them slowly slip shut as he welcomed sleep.

oOoOo

The following morning as the Doctor plated a pile of eggs and sausages, Rose reminded him that they had promised to visit Jackie to explain all that had happened.

“And we should really tell her that we’re technically married now,” Rose said around the rim of her mug of tea.

“But Rose!” he whined. “We’ve got a time machine! We could spend decades floating around the Vortex and still pop by and visit your Mum the morning after we left her.”

At Rose’s glare and mental rebuke, he quickly added, “But of course we won’t wait that long. But Rose, must we really go _now?_ I’d rather like to keep you to myself for a little while longer. Our bond is still new and we’re still getting used to it. And we really need to shore up your barriers, love, or else I’ll be ravishing you in the middle of Jackie’s flat.”

The last part was spoken on a growl as Rose’s mind wandered back to how he had pleasantly awoken her that morning with his head between her thighs.

Rose’s cheeks reddened, but she couldn’t quite force back the memory fast enough, and the Doctor gave her a glorious encore right there at the kitchen table.

Rose let the subject drop for another couple of weeks as she enjoyed being with her bondmate. They hardly left the Vortex, and when they did, he mostly took her to tropical paradises or tourist attractions or uninhabited planets. They hadn’t run for their lives in weeks, and Rose was pleased to find he wasn’t going as stir-crazy as she had predicted.

“How could I ever be anything other than happy whenever I’m with you?” he’d asked when he caught the rogue thought.

Finally, nearly a month after they’d bonded, Rose managed to convince a reluctant Doctor that they needed to go see Jackie and Pete.

“And you’d better make sure you land the day you said you’d land,” Rose warned, watching him dance around the console.

“D’you want to drive?” he retorted. He glanced at the monitor and made a few minute adjustments.

“Could I?” Rose asked, her excitement simmering.

The TARDIS flashed her lights and hummed deeply.

“I don’t see why not,” he answered, holding out his hand for her where she sat on the jump seat. “You’re bonded to her, too, after all. And I think she’ll be more helpful to you than she’d ever been for me. Stubborn ship.”

“She just loves me,” Rose preened, grinning playfully at him.

A deep wave of fondness overtook her, and Rose realized it was coming not from her bondmate, but from their ship.

“She really does,” he murmured reverently. “Right! She and I will both try and guide you through the motions. Try not to think too hard. Just go with what feels right.”

Rose glanced at him doubtfully, until she felt her bond with the Doctor and the TARDIS deepen and she felt them nudging her towards certain buttons and levers and away from others. It was slow going, and not as graceful as the Doctor made it look, but when she finally threw up the handbrake, the rotor started chugging up and down.

She held her breath for the duration of their flight, tweaking dials as the TARDIS showed her how to make the smoothest, most accurate landing.

“I did it!” Rose squealed delightedly when they landed with a solid _thump_.

She turned to her bondmate who was looking at her with such pride and adoration. He strode over to her, arms held out for a hug, and she jumped into them immediately. Happiness buzzed along their bond as he spun her enthusiastically around in the air, before setting her down onto her feet once more.

He cupped her jaw in his palms and tilted her head up to brush a kiss to her lips. Even after being bonded for a month, the sparks of electricity and pleasure passing between their lips never failed to steal his breath away, and he greedily pressed his lips closer to hers. She hummed into his mouth and brought her hand up to tangle in his hair. He shuddered and pressed himself closer.

“Doctor, we should probably stop,” Rose murmured when he broke his lips from hers.

He skimmed the tip of his nose along hers and whispered, “Hmmm, must we?”

“Well, unless you’d rather keep my mum waiting and let her make her own conclusions about what we’re doing here,” Rose said.

The Doctor grimaced, and unwillingly stepped away from Rose.

“Best not,” he said. “Right, then, Rose Tyler! Allons-y!”

Just before the Doctor could swing open the doors, he felt a pulse of nervousness and unease from his bondmate.

“What is it, love?” he asked, walking over to her to brush a strand of hair behind her ear.

He could feel her worry about her mother’s reaction, not only to the news of her marriage but also the revelation of her extended life span. The Doctor brushed a soothing caress over her fears.

“Whatever happens, whatever she says, I’ll be right there, love,” he promised. “She’ll probably be angrier at me than at you anyways.”

Rose chuckled softly, acknowledging that very probably prediction. She lifted herself onto her toes to press a kiss of gratitude across his lips.

“No point in putting it off,” Rose said, grabbing his hand to thread her fingers through his. “Together?”

“Together,” he assured softly, giving her fingers a squeeze.

Rose relaxed deeper into his silver-gold spark, letting his love and comfort bolster her. While she cared about what her Mum thought and whether she approved, Rose realized it wasn’t the most important thing. What was more important was that the Doctor was by her side and that he had given himself to her in every way he possibly could.

 _Forever_ , he whispered, catching that last thought.

 _Forever_ , she firmly replied.

She walked up to the TARDIS doors and pulled them wide open before stepping hand in hand with her bondmate into her mother’s flat.

 


End file.
